I Want To Be Abused By My Fiance

Ive been with my fiance for a little over 2 years now, we have only been engaged for 1 month though.. idk if it is wrong to want this or not but i really want my fiance to abuse me. we have rough sex a lot, he has punched me, slapped, pulled my hair, choked me, spit on me, called me degrading names, etc. during rough sex and he knows i like it. but (idk if he knows this really or not) i want him to abuse me for real, im not sure why but i do, even when i was younger (we all had our imaginations) i imagined me being in a abusive relationship, idk why but i did. ive tried to push his buttons or hint to him i want him to be like that but he hasnt phyically abused me.. i think he has emotionally and verbally but not physically.. i want him to really bad..... idk if this is something i should talk to him about or not cuz im chicken when it comes to talking bout stuff like this to him.. im kinda jus sittin back waiting for him to do it.. ive never told anyone this before, so any advice that may help me or w.e. please ill appreciate any advice - that isnt judgemental..
JessicaP1321 JessicaP1321
18-21, F
2 Responses Mar 20, 2011

You are the perfect girl. I would beat you until you welt at my feet then **** you till a *** and leave you dripping and bruised.

You should definately talk to him about it. While your desires are unusual, they are not unheard of. I have known women who actually enjoy being beaten till they are black and blue. You sound like one of those women. If your fiance knows and understands your needs he can meet them in a controlled way so you don't end up with any permanent damage. having him abuse you in a true anger or rage is pretty dangerous, but in a controlled setting it can be very fulfilling for you both. You need to both explore your boundaries as well as where you might like to go with this. If you do that it can be positive and building to your relationship instead of destructive.<br />
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I hope this helps. I'd love to know where this goes.