Am I Wrong?

Lately I've been losing control of myself and everyone I know. I guess the more I think about my life the more I realize how much people use me! Even the ones that I would consider my most treasured friends. I have been there for so many people from giving people a place to stay, to listening to them when they are down, to helping financially. I've done a lot, especially for one person in particular. I would do anything for my friends and especially for that one person. They were always depressed because they were in the military and were always feeling lonely. I'd go out of my way just to see them even for one weekend but it was more that their family or closest friends ever did. If they got tied up financially I'd find ways to make my ends meet and help them with whatever I could even if it meant I put myself in a bind. I know it was stupid but I did it because I know I am a strong and resourceful person and I knew I'd figure things out for me one way or other. I'd put my life on the line for this person if they asked me to. Even though thery were a complete self centered jerk to me a lot of the time, I tried not to hold things against them. I saw this person as my best friend. The only person I could open up to. But when push came to shove and they had other people to occupy there time I am simply fading into the background and everything I ever did is forgotten. And when the time came where I needed help I had no one. Sorry to be complaining so much.... I just really wanted a friend. Or a simple thanks. I did all I did because I like helping people and making them happy but was a simple phone call too much to ask for?

Now everything is messed up and I tried to talk to this person and the thanks I got was to got look for someone else to talk to...
It saddens me that in this world I would do anything for this person but in no world would they do anything for me.... They said they'd always be there for me, but life has proved that they are not. I feel used and its my fault.
vanna1231 vanna1231
18-21, F
2 Responses Oct 5, 2010

I understand. Sometimes it feels like you care so deeply for your friends and loved ones that you would do anything for them, but when you're the one in need, no one wants to return the favor. It hurts me sometimes to think how many friendships and relationships that I've invested in heavily and emotionally were one-sided in this way, that the other person never felt the same way I did and forgot about me easy enough. Sometimes it saddens me to know that while I will probably never forget what those friendships meant to me, they have probably already forgotten and wouldn't be there if I called.

Its not ur fault u just would do anything 4 a friend not many ppl like that ppl r not unconditional these days. uhe rel. meant mor 2 u than other person felt. i did this 2 not a real frnd