Do I Mean Anything To Anyone?

It's a nagging and yet lonely feeling to have an existence where I question whether I truly mean something to the people in my life. The people I work with laugh it up and get along with me, with the exception for one person that I really don't like. But, do I mean anything to them? There are those who claim to be friends, but how significant is it that they say that, when their actions outside of work are not exemplary of proving themselves to be people of their words. My ex once said that I was important to her and that she genuinely cared for me, but that too turns out to be just a fabrication as she's done everything possible to treat me like her enemy in every way. The so-called family that I have is so disconnected beyond recognition that even if I get to speak with them, I question whether or not I am heard. So where is my place in this world? Where exactly do I fit in and mean anything to anyone? Because, the validity of what people say and what they do to prove it are two separate contrasts. I've tried to look past this factual existence, but cannot take it anymore and that's precisely why I'm here, sharing what I feel, how I feel and hoping that maybe, just maybe I'll get to see that there are more people like me who will make effort to comments and share....because after all, isn't that what being appreciated is? It's showing people you may know or not know that their words or experiences mean something by sharing a simple comment or encouraging word.
fieryleo fieryleo
31-35, M
6 Responses Jul 17, 2011

...I don't know everything but humans naturally go for "self" anything done for or to others is interpreted as love but it is only acts of kindness to reassure that the person stays connected to the "giver" so that "giver" can continually have acess to the "reciever" that is n some way beneficial to the "giver". In short if u have nuthin to offer a person that they deem beneficial u mean nuthin to them.

You are loved by me always... Your writing shows the depth of your being ...your core opened for all to see. That is brave of you to write down your dark thoughts .... I deal with dark thoughts too but I have never let them out because I fear them to come alive...

"To face fear makes us human. To embrace fear makes us brave. To chase after fear makes us daring and adventurous. Fear can be either realized as that which cripples us or it can be viewed as a challenge that inspires to go above and beyond to obtain our greatest potential."---food for thought. To be faced with darkness only means that it stares you in the face and that you recognize it. To embrace that darkness entails that you come to terms with it and accept that it is a part of you. To chase after your darkness does not necessarily say that darkness will overtake you, however it does require you to be bold enough to clean out that deep dark closet of feelings that haunt and taunt you. To be paralyzed by the fear of not expressing
yourself leaves you vulnerable to being paralyzed in doing nothing at all due to the fear of how people will perceive you. Stare your fear and darkness in the face. Embrace those concerns you have and be
willing to accept yourself without the worry of what someone else may think. Confront those deep dark alleys of yourself by expressing them however you deem fit. I believe by what you have shared in the comment you left that there is more stored deep within your pores and you are unsure and even insecure of how to place them to word. Find yourself and creativity. Find your voice. Speak your mind without regret and tackle the fear that holds you back. Be liberated from the shackles that bind and escape out of that prison for the mind. Do not doubt and do not deny what lies within the confines of what you hold deep inside. You can and you will overcome. Let your creativity flow, cause you have the gift. Let go and let yourself be. Speak your mind as you write and BE FREE.

That's exactly what I am going through. I'm even a Buddhist , how can anyone not find any worth in me haha. but no, I am not close to friends, so beyond distant from my family. The only two people that claim to care are both my bipolar mother and ex boyfriend who I'm living with. Several times a week I get told their life would be better without me, but I know they need me so I stay. I'm patient. But I get no love in return, no gratitude for all i do. I got laid off from a great job and now have a **** job so i cant afford to leave. Every day hurts, everyday I feel more alone. Every day I want to die. But its ok we feel like this we r not alone in this world , there ate many who feel like us, and its important to not give up.

I feel for you. Sometimes I just feel like people are so wrapped up in their own worlds. Where do I even fit in. Some people are just so fake and others just buy into it. I can't stand it.

Believe me I have spent the majority of my life being other people's doormats. Now these people are totally out of my life I am serious about this I haven't seen these people in a year or longer and it has been through alot of rehab and therapy that got these so-callrd users & abusers away from me. Look I don't know what your specific situation is but I just don't want ANYONE going around being a doormat because no one deserves that.

I know how you feel believeme. My ex says the same to me that I am important to her and her family. Ithink when it involves me doing things for them its okay and then I am pushed out the door like an old mat that isint wanted anymore. They are not gratefull taht I am raising two kids from this relationship and thier mother contributes in no way. I have wondered if there is a place for me in this world or is it just to be used by these people. I have lately tried to cut all ties from these so called sick people, and I have no family so it is difficult to go on and feel wanted.