I'm Getting There
Despite being naturally optimistic, my chaotic childhood and various traumatic experiences have left me unsure of my identity, socially inept, and constantly fighting off depression and anxiety attacks.
In the last 2 months I let these things take over my mind and heart, nearly ruining my marriage and sending me over the edge. I talked things out with my husband before it was too late, and he gave me a chance to prove I hadn't given up on us. The rest was up to me.
The first thing I did was get treatment for my depression/anxiety. This helped me clear-headedly end some harmful relationships, and stop obsessing over them. Next, I told my husband that though most of his advice was helpful to me, I will never be as practical and reality-focused as him, and I need that side of my life as well as the hard-working practical side. In saying this in a calm, happy setting, I felt for the first time that my identity is now solid. I know who I am, and that's many facets, none of which I fear. Also, I think that first streak of independence helped me to realize that I can survive no matter what, with him I hope, but I can do it alone if that ever happens. Goodbye, co-dependance!
This journey is far from over, but I'm on my way!