I Will Be Better

My husband of 12 years, who we had two children together, started using drugs behind my back, I was very unaware of his habits, there were more than one! He use to leave the house in the middle of the night and not return until the next evening. When I left him, I was penny less, bill were over due and I was (am) facing eviction.  He does not pay support for his two daughters. I went looking for affordable childcare, and was put on a 3 year waiting list.  I went to affordable housing and was put on a 10 year waiting list. I went to Social Services and was handed a four hundered dollar cheque. In the midst of my turmoil, my Grandfather died. I took time off from finding a job and child care to help my Grandma in her time of need. As I sat with my Grandmother, in her living room just prior to going to the funeral home, her being a very strong individual asked me if struggling this hard was worth it, I said to her that, I will get a job and childcare, money will not always be a problem, but knowing that my two daughters are safe and happy is the best thing I can do for them.  She then turned to me and said, she never tried finding a better husband, a better job, a better life, she always thought she was happy. I helped her with her coat and we waited for the Limo to take us to the funeral home. She turned to me once more and said, I knew you could do better, I know you will do better, in the end you will be a better person and your girls will know it too. So as I sit here, still no job, still no money, still facing eviction, I feel like I am on my way to be a better person.

roxannethunderbird roxannethunderbird
36-40, F
1 Response Apr 8, 2007

You seem like a strong person, and i admire you for that last sentence.