A Little Too Shy

Well. I am a 22 year old girl who has basically not been on a date before. I grew up in a small town where the girls were the worst type possible and I was also an athlete. I don't think guys have ever really noticed me even to this day.

My first sexual encounter was unwanted by my side of things and in a way it has made more timid of things. I am also afraid to touch people. I guess its something where I want their permission, because that fact was taken away from me. But I also think that because of my reaction to things, that I have made it so no one would want me in that way. Or that I make it look like I don't. I think I just really need someone else to take the initiative, I know I never can. It's just not in me.

But that's what I find odd and almost scary. I think that I am more attracted to domineering men, not because they take away my decisions but rather that they respect me and understand me.
I am not someone that can tell the other person what I like and don't like, I get embarrassed.

I wish for once I could find someone that I feel safe with and someone that will understand my quirks. I don't have confidence and I never have, and maybe that is a large factor? I am not sure.

But this was my story, I felt I needed to say it one way or another.
There is only one person that knows about my incident and he is one of my best friends and I trust him implicitly.

If anyone has a comment, please do. I wonder if someone will believe me or if I am just crazy.
TerriblyShy TerriblyShy
22-25, F
6 Responses Dec 5, 2012

I think it is a quite normal thing to be shy. Modern internet times make it easier for the shy ones to stay shy.... to be introverted. In times before, people may have been more forced to overcome their shyness, to arrange with being introverted.

What many people do not see is, that it needs quite some energy and effort on the side of the introverted person, to meet others.. to be "outgoing". Again the internet where you can post quite anonymously may help, to get over this, to get easier into talking with others, making friends.

having written what you did here, may be the first step. It may attract some creeps... but if you look carefully, there may also be some gems among them.

For true dominants, the wellbeing of their submissives is an important factor... as is respect for each other. At least this is how i always handled things. I feel that respect is the best foundation for everything.

Add in some control, not having to make some decisions for some time, and this can lead to some quite newfound sort of "freedom". With the right person, that may be an amazing experience, that may allow you to develop and evolve further, to gain more self confidence, and maybe become more open.

Why should somebody not believe you?

I still had no sexual things but am as shy as you?

*hugz*

You're not crazy at all. I have known a lot of girls like you and looking back, I failed to take opportunities with them because I was confused by their lack of communication or assertiveness. If guys do the same, it is probably because they fear rejection and can't gauge whether you will reject them or not. You may interpret this as them not being attracted enough to you to make a move, but it is probably not the case. Girls with your personality are actually highly attractive. Definitely my favorite now that I have learned to be more assertive.

Let me reassure you , you're not crazy . It's a lot more easy to have someone telling you what to do and when to do it then to having to take responsability for your decisions and actions . I bet there's a sense of comfort knowing someone is taking care of you , protecting you . In return I'm sure you'll want to please him however he enjoys .

I let u dominate me msg me