My Life Will Never Be The Same

I thought it would be wise to provide an update on how matters have progressed. I am separating from my wife this weekend. I would now suggest that there is far more at fault with our relationship than our incompatibility due to me being very submissive. We have got on as great friends. But on my part there has been no emotional intimacy. I have concluded that our poor sex life is not only based upon our sexual incompatibility, but is more likely to be based upon this lack of intimacy. Obviously, my submissiveness plays a part too.

We have come to differing conclusions as to how this should be resolved. My wife believes my emotions are stunted and with counseling this can be resolved. I question this for I have experienced a level of intimacy with a previous girlfriend. I ask, why were my emotions not stunted then? Of course my wife could be right, but I do want to continue to repress that side of me for the rest of my life? The truth is I now desire to explore my submissive nature.  

I admit I am and have always been emotional inexperienced and immature. When I met my wife I thought here is someone who has a lovely character and is also beautiful. My head said yes but It seems that my heart has said no. I recognize that this decision to leave has and will continue for some time to cause my wife great pain. I have wasted four to five years of her life. I am being selfish. But I also question what our future would have looked like? Neither of us have met the others deeper needs. She wants to continue with our marriage, but this decision is based on us being able to meet each others personal needs, though  of course I shall need to suppress aspects of mine.     

My life now will be very different. I recognize I am attracted to dominant women. I have gained a love for the Arts. My interest and my passions are now all known. I will lose many of my old contacts. Coming from a religious background, I am sure that I shall not be that popular. My time will not be my own. I have forfeited my rights. My lifestyle will be austere. I have given up most of my possessions. Some I have sold to purchase additional photography equipment. I wish to explore my skills with photography and concentrate on Erotic Photography. Of course my overall goal and concentration is to become a perfect slave. This will take great discipline. I have a long way to travel. But my Journey is now starting a new path. My life will never be the same again. 

matt6708 matt6708
41-45, M
2 Responses Feb 19, 2010

Better now than 10 years later; which is where I am now.

Wwe all have to be happy with the paths on which Wwe choose to follow or things will never work.. it is good that you and your wife can talk and can see that she wants to try to make it work through counseling but with that being said intimately that isn't going to change things.you seem to know that you know your submissive nature and want to grasp onto it am sure the Bboth of you will be happier when she see's this.. or perhaps it is her time to step up to the plate and be the Domme You need *smiles*