A Relative Want

I'd never want to be gagged against my will. The very thought of it leaves me cold. Unlike being merely bound, being gagged would probably require the insertion of something into my mouth---a penetration that smacks too much of another kind of penetration. 

Sure, the intrusive packing could be covered up. In fact, tape would probably be wrapped over my lips and jaws, concealing whatever's stuffed between my tongue and palate. But I'd know it was there. My "penetrator" would know too. He might snicker at my helplessness and there'd be nothing I could do about it.  
 
You might think my blood would be boiling, that I'd want to tear his eyes out or blast him to smithereens with a shout to shake the walls and windows. In fact, I think I'd be too sensible to try that. I'd be too proud. I'd know that the thing occupying my mouth---the thing he put there---would blunt the sharpest curse, rendering it pathetic and laughable. 

So I'd probably just stay quiet. Why advertise my helplessness? To the contrary, I'd strive to keep up a dignified facade or, better yet, a show of indifference, even while boiling with embarrassment and shame. 

Better by far, though, would be no gag at all. I'd promise to stay quiet. I'd point out that a gag might asphyxiate me. I'd hope that my assailant, under the force of my desperate plea, would concede a little and agree to maintain the full and open operation of my air passages. 

Yet if, as I suspect would actually happen, I'd have a gun to my head or blade's edge beneath my throat and no choice but "be gagged or killed," I'd take the gag in a heartbeat. Wouldn't you?

Wouldn't you welcome the penetrating wad? The folded-up sock? The compressed handkerchief? The balled-up pair of nylons?

Wouldn't you rejoice to receive it between your lips?

And silently, secretly, in depths where only truth resides---the inmost depths of your heart---wouldn't you thank the devil for sparing your life? 
Seiler Seiler
56-60, M
1 Response Jan 10, 2013

fantastic insight as usual..