He Is Not Right For Me

So I started dating this guy about 3 years ago. I met him through a friend and 7 months later i moved to CA and he followed. Where for the next 2 1/2 years weve been off and on. I caught him cheating on me numerous times and ignored it and excused it because he is "young." All i do is make excuses for him and for myself. It has been hurting my self esteem for about a year now. We have comes to terms that we care deeply for each other and that is it; no commitment. But there are times where he seems sooo sincere and says he want me to eventually carry his children marriage etc. I am totally infatuated with this person. I think about him all the time and i know he doesnt. In the recent months were :back on again: and he is MEAN! He is like a completly diff person. Calling me names like stupid and idiot and telling me im lost. Anything small thing i do wrong (or mistake) he calls me F*c*ing stupid...if i **** him off hell refer me as "*****" like its totalllllly abusive and just writing this down brings me to tears. Its horrible. He will then at the end of the night apologise endlessly and tell me everything i want to hear and do anything i want. I know he has mental issues and if i dont get out of this i feel like im just heading down that path. I am smart tall skinny pretty blonde who can really date or see anyone i want. I have tried to date but i cant...i havent been intimate with anyone else in over a year (and he is all over town) ...Seriously ive never wrote this down and its like "hello?" hes totally absusing you.....i need support and i need something to push me out of this so i can live my life.

confusedash confusedash
22-25, F
2 Responses Mar 3, 2009

I am in a similar situation. The difference is that I am married. The one thing I want to say is that stay away from someone like that while you still can. Don't wait until too late(like kids you need to consider).

Look I've been through something similar very lately actually I'm still healing from that relation. I stayed with my gf for 15 month and she was pulling me down all the time. all the time I felt like I wanted to stay with her hoping things would get better. we broke up for a while I tried to date but I couldn't so much I was attached to her, so we got back together on the basis that she would change . <br />
after a few months I realized that she's being an obstacle to my advancement in life she wasn't only stopping me from becoming a better person she was also pulling me back and makin me feel less that what I am. <br />
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finally I decided that staying in that relation is becoming destructive for me. and I broke up. <br />
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all that to tell you that you should look back to see if this relation has made u a better accomplished person or a worse person. and based on that fact you should decide what to do next. if he's really makin your life worse than it was before leave him coz in the end u get only one life. and you should live it the best way you can. <br />
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It's hard at first but it gets better with time ...