Two Worlds Collided

Hello everyone, I just want you all to know that I will be leaving EP for a while. I cant live like this anymore. I dont know exactly what I want right now, but I think I want to be healthy. I cant stay on this site. I have written all of my battles here that led to my anorexia. I have lost so many friends, and family because of my disease. I want to be able to live. I felt like I was in two different worlds. One was full of happiness and love and smiles. The other was full of darks secrets, depression, and starving. The past year these worlds have come together. The smiles were fake, the love was gone, and the secrets came out. I was falling apart and denied every minute of it. I was selfish andwanted what I wanted. I want my life back. If you are wondering why now? Well, the past two days were horrible. I was very irritable and depressed. I was drinking and doing drugs non stop. Then earlier, I took an entire bottle of pills. I wanted to die and I didnt care. I came to my senses shortly after and made myself throw them up. My life has been taken over by an evil thing that I thought was my friend. My thoughts are all wrong, and my body is weak. It's time for me figure out who I am and I am ready to take myself back. I'm so sorry to my twin. i know you wanted to be here to help me, but right now I need to go away. I will be back I promise<3 Thank you all so much and I'm sorry to those of you I let down.
StarvedAndScarred StarvedAndScarred
18-21, F
3 Responses Sep 4, 2012

I'm here to help whenever I can. If you can't reach me here right away I will get your message and reply as soon as I get it. You have ways to contact me. Use them. It's okay.

big whatever you need to to get healthy...wish you all the best! xo

honey, go live that normal life, try to enjoy in it and dont think too much.. just do what you always wanted, have fun, try to forget on all problems and after couple days or week of that sweet free life - decide what you want to do with the rest of your life and I will be here, waiting for you<3 I love you because your personality and not because how you look, dont ever forget that