Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

Just Too Good To Be True

Now it can be told, after I deleted a good friend seven months ago.

I can no longer take the good things he has been showering me. The attention, the kind of respect. The affections and the kind of love he shows. The displays of affections I get. I can no longer take all the good things about him, it's like too much of an existence. I become everything I am not. Or maybe almost everything I'm actually scared to be. His passion just tortures my innerself. I can feel feel his sincerity, and at the same time fear and felt alone. The attention I can't bear to take. No one has ever shown such honesty and truth.
Fear of the thought that bitterness would eventually come after the sweetness has melted. I become paranoid and made a drastic move, and deleted him from my circle. And it has never been the same between us.
I felt so sorry and numbed with sorrow. But the bitter-sweet thoughts has always been there to sustain me.
But his words to his last message was quite a strike " I wish I cud challenge you to get a guy who can love you more than me ", to which has left me lingering at the thoughts of him for a while.
ladyryan ladyryan 41-45, F 10 Responses Jul 24, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

Living up to someone else's vision of us is always harder than living up to the lies we believe about ourselves, told BY us to ourselves....

The reason people treat us better than we treat ourselves is that we don't see what they see, not do they see what we see in them. We have been told so long that we are not good enough, or that we have to be perfect. I am so glad I don't live like that.

Go and be really excited about the hearts you break and the mistakes you make.. because one day you WILL see yourself through someone elses eyes, and when you do, sister, the whole world is going to change for you.. I guarantee it.

My, oh my! You're comment put me back to an episode that I have already forgotten. It was all good. Looking back to the day after I have written this piece something pleasing happened. I can say he is a good male friend. With your words, you've just made him a dear friend to me. Thanks Mrdj. ^^

Drowning someone in love, a mistake I have been known to make in my youth. From the giving side you just can not understand to what you could possibly be doing wrong. You love someone, you pour your heart and soul into the relation, but you do not see or understand how you are actually pushing someone away from you. There is that balance to where the person on the receiving end of this forgets who they are, becoming more and more of what the other person wants them to be. Even if they are not trying to change you, you are pushed into their expectations, their fantasy of what you would be like if you were perfect. You begin to fear to show your faults, and yet it is the faults that make us all human. It is a quote I love on this subject, "It is the faults in a diamond that makes it sparkle."

Oh my! Couldn't agree more than that. Maybe I pushed myself too much, according to how a person wants. Or maybe it's what I don't have, that made the fantasy. Thanks for the thought provoking comment.

OOHHH THE PAIN, THE HURT, FEELING THE KNIFE PLUNGE DEEP, i`M GOING TO sAN fRANCISCO AND JUMP OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE INTO THE BAY THE CURRENTS TAKING ME OUT INTO THE OCEAN WHERE THE SHARKS WILL DEVOUR ME. Nevermind I can`t afford to go there, think I`ll just go to bed.

ha ha Sweet dreams~~ Pete.^^

If I were single I think I`d like to go back to Japan to see what I missed and steal you away in the drkness of night.

LOL!

You are beautiful woman, a woman with the mystic mystery of the orient and the long black air. The man was a fool for letting you go and not fighting for you.

Aww Thanks Pete for the nice warm words. And thanks for taking time reading and commenting.

I have had this experience and it is not easy to deal with.

Aww Yull. . . thanks for sharing an bit of yourself. And thanks for reading also.^^

When I first met my boyfriend I just had broke it off with another relationship. My boyfriend said he just wanted to be friends but after 2 months he asked me to be monogamous. I dont think I was ready for that so I erased him from my circle too. I changed my phone number.I kept so busy that I didnt know if I was coming or going. Then I talked to him again and found my reasoning to be off. We have been together ever since.

Oh Barbie, you're lucky ha. I have met two friends online, and though we parted long ago. We've met in a very productive way, it has been the most beautiful friendship online so far. It has influenced me a lot. Before I joined EP. Barbie, thanks for sharing yourself.^^

You have a wonderful romantic heart.

aww Sean . . . thanks !! Can't help but to be. ha ha

Wow. Let your conscience be your guide;)

Thanks for reading and the warm comment Duchess.

I hope he reads this. He'll see the honesty you put right out there and feel the confusion and struggles you live with..... hugs and hugs.... I hope, in time, you can find someone who could love and appreciate the woman and person you are.....

You are so sweet Sierra. Yeah, who knows he might be reading it now. ha ha.
But anyways, he was a good memory. Just he is too good to be true.^^