Just Too Good To Be True

Living up to someone else's vision of us is always harder than living up to the lies we believe about ourselves, told BY us to ourselves....

The reason people treat us better than we treat ourselves is that we don't see what they see, not do they see what we see in them. We have been told so long that we are not good enough, or that we have to be perfect. I am so glad I don't live like that.

Go and be really excited about the hearts you break and the mistakes you make.. because one day you WILL see yourself through someone elses eyes, and when you do, sister, the whole world is going to change for you.. I guarantee it.

Your words reveal the charm indeed.
Hugs.

Drowning someone in love, a mistake I have been known to make in my youth. From the giving side you just can not understand to what you could possibly be doing wrong. You love someone, you pour your heart and soul into the relation, but you do not see or understand how you are actually pushing someone away from you. There is that balance to where the person on the receiving end of this forgets who they are, becoming more and more of what the other person wants them to be. Even if they are not trying to change you, you are pushed into their expectations, their fantasy of what you would be like if you were perfect. You begin to fear to show your faults, and yet it is the faults that make us all human. It is a quote I love on this subject, "It is the faults in a diamond that makes it sparkle."

OOHHH THE PAIN, THE HURT, FEELING THE KNIFE PLUNGE DEEP, i`M GOING TO sAN fRANCISCO AND JUMP OFF THE GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE INTO THE BAY THE CURRENTS TAKING ME OUT INTO THE OCEAN WHERE THE SHARKS WILL DEVOUR ME. Nevermind I can`t afford to go there, think I`ll just go to bed.

If I were single I think I`d like to go back to Japan to see what I missed and steal you away in the drkness of night.

You are beautiful woman, a woman with the mystic mystery of the orient and the long black air. The man was a fool for letting you go and not fighting for you.

I have had this experience and it is not easy to deal with.

When I first met my boyfriend I just had broke it off with another relationship. My boyfriend said he just wanted to be friends but after 2 months he asked me to be monogamous. I dont think I was ready for that so I erased him from my circle too. I changed my phone number.I kept so busy that I didnt know if I was coming or going. Then I talked to him again and found my reasoning to be off. We have been together ever since.

You know very well you did what needed to be done. Something did not feel right and it was the moment to take it it into separate ways.



True love is somewhat balanced and understanding. In spite of what we dreamers believe on, love is not perfect and it is full of stumbles and hiccups too. True love gives space when needed and reunites at the right time.



Pressuring someone usually reflects on personal insecurity, lack of understanding of the other person or a combination of both. I do not disregard that the emotional attachment grew to the point that an imminent separation caused some impulsive reaction. But I still think that if something did not feel right, it was better to change the course.



You are a true treasure and you deserve nice understanding. You may say that you were not ready. True love will wait until you are ready even if it means forever.



Online affairs are somewhat of an interesting stream. On one side, there are a number of distractions (physical, timing, awkwardness, and others) that are out of the way and you have a medium (online) for a more mental and emotional connection free of a lot of the noise. If you think about it, after years of marriage (or whatever other type of long relationship you prefer), the connections that matter the most are at the mental+emotional level and not so much at the physical or any other levels. Online gives you a chance to a more direct connection to the base that will last if you hit it right. Granted, a physical connection is important too and it so happens that the physical connection is so much richer once the mental+emotional bond is solid.



On the other other, we are fully integrated beings and not just mental+emotional. Unfortunately, this is a tricky part of online affairs too.



Anyhow, I'm happy for you that you did what should have been done, that you feel better about it and I'm sure my dear that the exciting waves that will dance with your amazing currents will come. I feel that the world makes sense when I know that your candid and blunt views are there.



(((hugs))) - G



P.S.: next time, do not inspire me to write a book };-P

just a suggestion......perhaps un-delete him and sent him a copy of this story. if he still loves you, he would pass the after the sweetness test. this might make it easier for you to take more chances with him in the furture. if he doesn't respond at least you would know.

while you would run the risk of giving up control of ending the relationship - from his last challenge i think he really wants to hear from you before he meets someone else. you must be really important to him based on the affection he showed to you....good luck and if i should not have given this opinion please don't hate me.

To me on-line friendships can be even more difficult that in person friendships. Its harder to know what the person is thinking without having the non-verbal feedback from the other person. I think of you as one of the most caring and likeable people on EP. Its not hard for me to imagine someone thinking you are this way only with them and taking it too far. Its too bad though - it sounds like you two had a good friendship going for awhile. I do admire you for doing what you knew you had to do - I'm sure I would have done the same.



Big Hugs

A most interesting story - almost qualifies as a confession.



Internet relationships and face-to-face relationships are almost always different. Once in a while they are the same, and worth nurturing, but as often as not there are differences in person that cannot be conveyed through electronic media such as the internet. Sometimes even phone conversations don't convey all of the person.



Back in 1997 I met a nice young woman online, and after months of chatting, exchanging emails, and even working together selling items on eBay, I flew to Germany and spent three weeks with her. As attractive in person as her photos indicated, and as sweet and personable as our chats had suggested she'd be, she turned out to be a bit naive, and terribly lacking in self confidence and self esteem. It quickly became obvious that we would not make it as a couple, no matter how hard I worked at trying to improve her self-image. One just never knows.



One thing that will not change is the memories you have of those moments and exchanges, good and not so good.



Thanks for sharing this, Ladyryan.

You have a wonderful romantic heart.

Wow. Let your conscience be your guide;)

I hope he reads this. He'll see the honesty you put right out there and feel the confusion and struggles you live with..... hugs and hugs.... I hope, in time, you can find someone who could love and appreciate the woman and person you are.....