I Want To Be Held And Told Everything Will Be Okay

Last nite my ex came back kind of late,too bring the kids back,I was pissed,but again I said nicely as if im not pissed.I just wonder what is it with him that makes me to be a soft puppy around him,complain less and stay strong even if im not strong inside.He looked me in the eye and go on of how beautiful I am,what a great person I am,how greatful he is that im the mother of his kids.All this things are hurting so bad,because I loved this man so much.How can I be all that person he says but im not good enough to be his wife,what did I do wrong as a wife?Is it really so bad to love someone and be faithful and be there when they need you?Was I suppose to bi*** when I did not like or want something happening or be a grown up and deal with it politely?was I suppose to run his phone when he comes home?or check the his credit card?Rite now I just want to be happy and have my life for me.I might have lost my best friend,my lover,my husband,the father to my kids,but I still have my life and im gonna live it.
Durangos Durangos
41-45, F
3 Responses Sep 17, 2012

You deserve better than this. I know it's hard to see through your pain but there is a man out there who will be devoted to just you. Please know you're not walking this road alone. Be open to the new love that awaits you.

Im really ready and really hope to be so happy and giving all I can

I still love my wife, but not in that way. Love changes as situations change and people change. I dont know why you broke up but it sounds like he is playing you. he wants the best of both worlds and he cant have it. You must live your life for you, not for him. Let go of the past and embrace today and love yourself

kb,I think just because you are not living with person you loved so much all the years does not mean you wont love them anymore.Especially if you had kids with them,even if you dont have kids you still will have a very special bond with them.I stll love my ex too,but i know im not gonna be with him anymore and wont tolarate the things I`ve been through anymore.our kids are now more happy thier parents separated than when we were together,`cause kids are very smart,they know more than what we as parents try to show.But im getting to happy without my best friend,because thats what he was.

So many people, my Mom included, stay together "for the kids". We both know that it doesnt work that way, Durangos. Of course i still love my wife and always will, but I am no longer "in love" with her. When a relationship becomes toxic, we must leave! I know what you mean about "best friend", but a true best friend does not just think of her/himself.

I know (smiling)

I am sure that there are some male & female that love there ex-spouse but just can not live with him or her. I do not know why you feel you would need to check his Credit Card or what ever. Live your life but in doing so don't run him out of yours. Don't expect him to run all women out of his life either. Live free, Love free, Be free. And be Happy. Don't restrict yourself and don't restrict others. When you worry about what others are doing that is when you can start being unhappy. Don't lessen to others tell you what you should think or tell of another person about what they should do or not do.