When I'm Too ScaredNo matter if you read this or not, I want to tell you. Whenever I feel horrible I think of you and I miss you like crazy. But I know you're there for me. That's enough to comfort me most times, just knowing you're there for me when I need you, even if you can't be here with me. There have been lots of times when I've just wanted you to hold me and tell me that it's going to be okey. I just want to be with you and feel you holding me.
Sometimes I can be too scared of my mind to move. I just lay there wishing I won't dream something horrible when I fall asleep. But by then I'm too scared to sleep. Those nights, the thing that calms me down is knowing that you're there for me. You'd help me if I called for your help. You'd talk to me if I was hurt. Knowing that you're there for me calms me down.
But some nights I can't calm down. It's getting rarer and rarer, but when it happens I just panic. Things happen inside my head that I can't possibly describe. All I would need those nights is you. I just want to have you hold me. You calm me down, you bring me back to the now, you brighten even the darkest of days and you always manage to make me feel better.
You mean so much to me, I can't even put it to words. There are no words that could come even remotely close to describing how much I love you or what you make me feel. It comes from the bottom of my heart when I say I love you. You should know that the word love isn't even a shadow of what I really feel for you. I need you my love. No one could ever replace you.
I just want you to hold me.
I'm forever yours Viv. Never leave my life.
bluecupcakes 18-21, F 2 Jan 14, 2013