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The Words Unspoken

Hello,
Summary of Backround: I never grew up with a father because I now believe that his family wanted nothing to do with me because I was half black and he was white.. so i grew up without a father. My mother has always been there for me regardless of anything. when i was yunger she would work so many jobs, she lived with her parents and her 5 siblings. My mom is the type of person that will help everyone and forget all about herself. so at this point in her life she has realized that shes helped push her sibligs through things but they only turn back to not even acknowledge her and now she feels worthless. Her parents play favorites for the boys in her siblings and leave the girls. My family is into money and success and they dont relly pay much attention to you otherwise... and i do not see myself as a part of this. My mother married to my step father and some have related my previous seizure disorder to that.
More Current: I'm an 18 year old girl, just made this account not exactly sure how it works... but I just feel as though Iam in need of some positive and well thought out feed back. Just a little backround on me, Ive always been a happy person regardless of what me or my close family members have gone through but sadly I feel as though I have been becoming more and more negative after i graduated high school. I know its probably because Its a major change in my life but due to not enough funds etc.. Iam held back from having that whole "college experience". Its difficult for me to be happy because my family rejoice the good things that others totally unrelated to us have accomplished. My mother mostly encourages me in everything that I do and so does my aunt but she holds back. I did well in high school but no one in my family ever cared besides those 2. I purchased 10+ tickets and only My mom, 2 aunts, baby cousin and brother showed up to my graduation. One of my uncles lived like 2 minutes away from the school and they heard of one of my neighbors daughters dgraduating and going to med school and are all happy for her. No one even told me congrats or gave me life tips but i now believe . this is just life and it is not their responsibility.
But they dont understand the little comments they make to me make a HUGE impact about the way i feel about myself and the decisions I make.. Theres sooooo much more but I really hope after repeated seeking, I will finally find someone who is knowledgable about all of the things i need to vent abut because it is hard for me to completely open up. and im in fear that ive been depressing myself and its making me sick.

Please if anyone can help me
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missdimplez missdimplez 18-21 1 Response Feb 3, 2013

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Sometimes the smallest comments can pave a road you could have never thought possible.

I understand completely how strong a small word of encouragement can do for one person let alone their whole day.

You do have a talent in writing, very moving in a deep way. Don't feel depressed about yourself...Never feel down and never let those emotions get the better of you.

I do hope to see more of your vented writing, as I hope it will help clear out and emotionally help you find peace.