This is the right description I feel right now.
After my master's I am now back to regular working mundane. But at this time I also work at weekends. Yes, I work 7 days. Well, this is temporary since a mother asked me to have review class with her child. Well, okay, I benefit since I'm earning good and which means I cn use that for travelling in couple of weeks.
However, eventhough with busyness I get these days, at night when I lay down I can sense the feeling of loneliness.
I know it is a season that this feeling keep coming back. It's a season where after another month, it is heading to another year. And to think of a year has passed I think of what have I done and what have I accomplished and need to do.
With this scenario, I have wanted to be held and tell me that everything will be okay. I need somebody to be with me afer a long day of work. Most of the time, what I feel at this moment is that I wish there is somebody I can be with this Christmas.
But what I want the most is not a temporary shoulder. I need someone who will last.
Eventhough there are willing, there is something inside of me trying to retaliate and afraid of...but I know I need him. I need him badly.