Why Does Love Evade Me?

I don't understand my life. I just don't get it. I merely exist in this world. I look at my life and I cannot understand what is happening. Is anything happening at all? I wake up and I go to sleep and nothing really changes. Everyday is the same. My life, though I am very blessed is somewhat bland. Something is missing. Love is missing. I just wonder sometimes will i EVER meet the right person. A person I could share my life with? Will it ever happen for me. I cannot imagine a life without finding that someone. My life will remain bland if I don't. I just cannot understand why I haven't met "my guy" as yet or even come close. I am 28 years old and I feel nothing sometimes. There is just emptiness. As I get older I think more and more about finding the right person to share my life with. I don't want a shell of a life. I want a full life. Why is it that I see others around me in relationships and I am just alone? What's wrong with me that I can't find that right person. Am I not deserving of love? Will I be better off without it? I am fed up of going on vacations by myself. Going to the movies by myself. Sleeping by myself. Waking up by myself. Eating by myself. Living by myself. I have no one. Why can't I find someone to be in a healthy relationship with? Why everyone else and not me. I refuse to go to work functions because I have no one to take with me, plus the very site of my colleagues and their significant others will just sicken me with envy. I am happy that they have found someone but where on earth is my someone? I can't stand to be at the office on valentine's day. It's just depressing. Everyone gets bouquets on their desks, while I get .... nothing. My desk remains vacant, lifeless and bland like my life. Why can't find someone? Why does love evade me? Am I just not ready for love?
arabia26 arabia26
26-30, F
Dec 22, 2011