Advice Please. :)

I don't think I even love myself. I don't feel like I deserve to be loved. I just realized this today but I don't think I have EVER truly, truly been loved. I have this shame inside of my heart that doesn't allow me to let people love me. What I tend to do is have sex with a guy I really want to have a relationship with way too early in the relationship so that he doesn't have the chance to see who I really am inside. If I entertain him with my body, he won't see my heart. And usually after I give them my body, they leave... and I'm left feeling even more ashamed than before. So it's a vicious cycle. I've slept with six guys and I'm only 19 right now... I've only realized this pattern today after some introspection.

Does anybody know how I can love myself and forgive myself? If I could find someone who will love me despite those mistakes I made? How I can resist temptation to sleep with guys? And what do I do when a guy asks me how many men I've slept with??
nim22 nim22
18-21, F
4 Responses Jul 29, 2010

yup, I'm actually doing pretty well at making my change. I haven't had sex with anyone, so I'm proud of myself. :)<br />
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Also, since I wrote this story, I hung out with two guys (not at the same time) and I just let them get to know me. I didn't rush into trying to kiss them or anything like that. I just let them spend time with me. And I also realized, not sleeping with them gives me a lot of power, which feels nice. :) They treated me nicely, with respect, and I love it. Btw, I decided that I didn't like either of them to be my boyfriend. The one that was really, really, really handsome, if it was the old me, I would've at least made out with him. But after talking with him, I realized that he just wasn't good for a relationship; he parties too much. But he's just my friend now. <br />
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Thanks guys for your support. :)

First of all it is time for you to start loving yourself , yu know why, because what you have done is normal and nothing insane,any young girl your age go through this situation in life. to fall in love or to experience love is not a sin. please understand tat, and if u end up sleeping with other guys whom you like , it wont be wrong. but why is it that you want to give them bodily love rather than wait for them to love you for what you are, give time, to the guy, also for yourself to know eachother, then when you know each other well you will not have the fear of loosing him,and when you make love with each others consent it will be a happy time to remember.and when a guy asks with how many guys you have sleept, just do not tell him, just say it was my past and i need not to tell you as i beleive in the present , there were guys but neither loved me truly. and he wont ask again..any other querries pls feel to email me, and yes its perfectly alright to have sex with a guy but not due to fear of loosing him....

Thank you so much new friend!!! :) That's good advice. You made me feel better just a little right now because before I read this I was feeling sad about a particular boy. I didn't sleep with him but I made out with him at a party. But I found out that he just got a girlfriend now. So I was kinda disappointed. But I just need to keep remembering to stay positive and have fun. :)

It is important to love yourself before you expect anyone to love you. Stay postive and have girlfriends to go out with and have fun first. I have love inside me too and I am 41. You have to tell yourself you are forgiven, you always have a choice to be happy or be sad. If guys ask you about how many guys you slept with just say it is personal and I want to get to know you better. Go for a kiss or a hug and be friends with a guy first. Eventually the right one will be there for you in the long run. If you cant be friends with a guy first then they just want sex. You are always welcome to email me, because I am going through the same cycle. I never had sex but I can relate! You are my friend ok.