Falling Deeper And Deeper

I'm falling into my black hole, which truth be told is only a couple of feet away from me each day, so it's easy to lose my footing and back in I go. Was it Peter and Gordon who sang, "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A WORLD WITHOUT LOVE?" Neither do I, but I am living in it, and neglected and deprived of this basic human need is slowly killing me.

*I have deleted the rest of this story*

Carissimi Carissimi
56-60, F
8 Responses Dec 15, 2011

Im drowning in drivel, dross and drabness. I would love a black hole about now; and your only a few feet away. Lucky you Carissimi. Was it Rod Stewart that sang "SOME GUYS HAVE ALL THE LUCK".... :)

I agree with vc; Love yourself first... You can't make anyone happy if you cannot be happy by yourself. And Loving yourself means - not to fall in love with the wrong people only to HARM yourself. Self-harm isn't Love, so too chasing after fake love; people who wouldn't ever really care about you; only "loving you" for the wrong reasons.

Carissimi, just curious what is your and your husbands profession?<br />
<br />
Also you can not have LOVE until you start loving yourself first. You are in a spiral to nowhere. I am afraid it is up to you to find the way out. You appear to be highly educated and highly intelligent. Use it. Go to Europe, go to Tuscany, do whatever to snap out of the present that you are in, but do something for you and you only.......Good luck.......

Please don't go into that place. Your right there is a life out there and you can get it, we all can<br />
With Love and support

Thank you my dear friend. I'm truly grateful for your support and encouragement.

Carissimi why dont you come on a vacation to India. Let us see each other and try to understand new horizons.

That sounds like a great idea, especially the new horizons. Lol

I read your feelings n this is the first time I've been on this site. I too am feeling some of the same things, which is why I was looking for a place to help with my boredom, sadness n isolation! I'm in a dead end marriage with 3 of my children grown and living their lives. I have a son at home, 11 ... think he's the only thing that inspires me now. If you get one of the rare moments of feeling like you wanna talk, I will listen. I find it hard sometimes to take a step and share how I feel when I actually feel like hiding from it all. But, I know if I don't try I will end up spiraling down! Do hope you can pull yourself up even though it isn't an easy thing to achieve!

Thank you for your understanding. I have had so much help today from my EP friends that I'm already starting to climb out of that hole. You will find so much support here to help you during your low times. I'll be happy to chat with you. Take care. :)

Carissimi, so glad to read that you're already starting to climb out of that hole. We need that warm, compassionate heart beating strongly.

Ahh thank you, Hypericum, so nice of you to say that. I have such good friends here, and you are a good friend.

I did read it twice......the amazing thing is...you have all the answers ...so you are good...but I have one question...assuming that your black hole is for just one person......and there is no way you are coming out..........I found a 2 persons black hole on Graigslist......would you be interested to share one.<br />
Carisssimiesta....I see that small smile<br />
come on girl...come out to play

hahaha you are incredible!!! I think your sense of humor should replace antidepressants. I was cheered already by your response to my friend here, Eb's, post, and now you have me LOL! I like you Antoni....your'e good medicine. :)

ok I will be your medicine.........it is every 2 hours.....2 big spoons of kisses........be nice and follow the doctor's orders...you hear !!!!

I know you said you don't want pity so I'd just like to let you know if you need to express yourself again you can talk to me. I won't say I understand; I can't possibly imagine. But I will try to be a good friend if you'd like.

What a great response. No platitudes to try and appease me, just an honest offer of friendship. Thank you. We'll try and help each other.