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When Somebody Loves You Back

Over the years love has left me exhausted due the nature of relationships, particularly due to proximity to loved ones. It has also left me exhilarated. I have found myself being swept up in a wave of emotions, the highs are wonderful, the lows, well what can one say.....

For me love can sometimes be like a thunderstorm in the summer, powerful, slightly frightening but somehow the moment can be funny. Your senses are totally awakened by this force that is around you, but strangely enough it’s okay.

I know that love is not about being controlled or being manipulated. You have to let the other person choose you of their own free will. You have to be on the same path, have the same goals for love to thrive.  Love is a choice, a commitment.

One thing I have learned is that love is only good when somebody loves you back.
EbonyLady EbonyLady 41-45, F 11 Responses Feb 28, 2012

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Love is like a puppy. You love it so much and you hold it tight, the tighter you hold it the more it struggles to get loose, you set it down and it comes running back to you.

That is lovely and so true. The mental picture is making me smile :) When it comes down to love, whatever I am supposed to have, I will have, it's that simple... And just like the puppy, it will come to me without being pursued or called..

One sided love is sad. But people do grow in different directions if they aren't careful.

I know what I'm like, I want it all.... I deserve it all too....

It's not what I would ever want, to be growing in a different direction from a partner. That is why you have to invest time in one another to try to prevent this from happening...

People don't have/make time for people in today's world

This is why we need a good work/life balance to ensure we have time for the closest people in our lives.

Married high school sweetheart. 50 years.
Been some tough times. separated for a while. affairs, her and me, to much alcohol, parties but we could never see being without out each other. (well maybe sometimes) I think we early on decided this was it. We made our bed and we have to sleep in it as my mother would say. good sex life but humans aren't by nature monogamous so it is always a decision to leave the candy on the shelf because it will rot your teeth if you indulge. go home and have a full meal. I always said "it doesn't matter where you get your appetite as long as you come home for dinner"

I love that... A choice as to whether to leave the candy on the shelf as you know it will rot your teeth... But some partners are just like chickens, you feed them so you know that they are full, but they wipe their beaks both sides and still walk around the yard picking at everything as though they were not fed. It's good that you were able to hold onto your relationship and make things work for you... It's not always easy to do that... You obviously have a solid foundation so no matter what the walls just won't come crumbling down around you.. Good for you :)

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For over 24 years we were soul mates, but due to circumstances the last 16 years of our marriage were "comfortable" which I now realize means stale, boring and dull. I will never stop loving her, but I am not in love with her now. People always change and we grew apart. Yes, love only works when it is mutual...

Sometimes people need to try to rejuvenate a marriage that has gone stale or appears to be dull. It takes work, but both parties need to want it to work. I agree people can grow apart and this can be so unfortunate (sometimes it's a damn good thing, lol). I know what my stance is on this, I just can't cope with the half measures...

Half measures availed us nothing -That's a quote from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and how true it is, nit just in recovering from alcoholism, but in life itself. "We" tried to work on our marriage and we saw a couple of marriage counselors, but, the problem was and still is that my wife would rather blame everything on me than to assume some responsibility and really try to work on it. She accepts no responsibility for the state of our marriage so she doesnt have to change, only me. It was very frustrating - I made changes that I thought would make me a better person, but, since she refused to make any changes, the marriage just continued to slide downhill. I'm not such a wonderful person, but at least i was willing to accept my responsibility...

At least you were good enough to try to resolve your marital issues... I don't know that anyone is truly wonderful in all ways, we all have our faults. Respect has a lot to do with how a relationship will bounce back from the brink of disaster.

Yes, you are right again. My respect for her was low, ans I felt that her respect for me was gone. Humans are very complicated. All we can do is give it our best, and be able to accept what happens - gods will!

I suppose that's what happens when the love starts to wane. Sometimes we have to call time on a relationship, it is very sad but necessary.

Yes, life is not always happy. Now that I have a spiritual relationship with the god of my understanding, I can accept that, and try to move forward with my life. Thanks for your kind and wise words, EbonyLady and thanks for being my friend!

That is difficult. If one party won't listen or admit that they may have some problems then it isn't going to work
My wife had an affair. She blamed me for her having an affair. Some truth to that but We were distant for a lot of reasons and some of them was the way she was to me.
So I had an affair also and when she found out I thought she would leave for sure, however I guess she loved me. It was like shock treatment. then we made progress and have been happy for 20 years. Be careful who you love tho. You never get over true love completely, always a little pocket in your heart that is owned by that lost love. That is how I believe you know true love.

Mature love isn't always that crazy passionate new love. nothing, not even drugs is that good. that is why people breakup and move on, looking for the new high. there is a lot to be said for comfortable love. Not so crazy, someone who always has your back and is there for you. Always trade offs.

I'll always love her, but right now I dont like her very much....who knows what the future will bring...thanks

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I agree with you

Thank you my dear :)

I agree. I like your delivery. Exhausting yet exhilarating. I hope I can be your friend. *hugs* j

Thank you welshbabe...friends? *hugs* j



Yes I totally agree. Yes me too I am so exhausted loving the wrong men time after time. Your last paragraph really tells like it is. Bless beautiful child of God.

I suppose that I am lucky that there have only been a few that I can say I have loved, but I have and do love deeply :)

so true . like Teddy use to sing not a 70-30 not a 60-40 talking about a 50 50 love

That's what I'm talking about :)

I miss Teddy Barry Marvin and Luther

Ohhhhhhhh! yes! my doll!! :D Your post say's it all! :D I especially agree with the last paragraph here!,. :D "May i quote you please!?" i thank you,. :D <> <br />
<br />
"I know that love is not about being controlled or being manipulated. You have to let the other person choose you of their own free will. You have to be on the same path, have the same goals for love to thrive. Love is a choice, a commitment.<br />
<br />
One thing I have learned is that love is only good when somebody loves you back".<br />
<br />
<br />
Ooooooooooooh!!! yes, so true! baby girl! :D <br />
<br />
Fabulous post gorgeous! and may i thank you so much for sharing! :D :D <>

You know me welshbabe, I write from the heart...

I know that! darling! :D And your gorgeous! :D I love your post babes! :D Thank you for sharing! :D :D &lt;&gt;

You rock ! Love is NOT a two way road. Both must ride on same side, together, at same speed, avoid obstacle together and looking in same direction at same time with same will !