Love.

I have never loved or had the privilege of feeling what love is like.

I'm sure my parents and family love me but that is a different sort of love and I don't really feel it to be honest. I desire romantic love, with another person, mutual love. Someone to make me feel something, a vacation from this emotional plateau. Someone who will let me know what it is like to be alive again...

The closest I've felt is attachment, and that was to my Husky a few years back, I still remember the last hour I spent with him very fondly and it's the driving force behind me wanting to feel loved and love another human being. I would be glad if I could get another dog, but my current circumstances don't allow me to have one, financial and otherwise... I never had to care what my Husky was thinking about and he would always make me feel wanted, make me feel like I was somebody to something...

I guess the longer you've been alone, the more pain and sadness you carry with you. 

I have had many achievements, academic, musical, physical but yet the one that eludes me is relational. I am content materialistically and otherwise but I  still feel so empty and just longing for one thing. The final thing that I want and have never yet experienced....

Love...