There Is HopeI want to share my story. My feelings as well. I want to be honest. Perfectly honest. This Experience Project is the place where I can be completely honest with myself and everyone.
Right now, I am so sad of people being sad. I am sad and lonely myself. But the more I read the stories of people here in EP, my situation was nothing compared to them. I want to help, but I feel so powerless. I cannot emphatize with them because I have not been that depressed that I had thought of hurting myself, or worst yet, commiting suicide.
For me, at first I thought, to cure someone of loneliness and sadness is love from someone else. At all times, we want to find the one person who will truly love us - a husband or a wife. I thought that that one person will change everything. That person will make life better. Then we could live happily ever after.
But I know that it is just a wishful thinking. That it can never happen in real life. People are people. They will hurt you. They might love you, but they will also hurt you. It comes hand in hand.
But I know there is hope. One thing that has been holding me up. Even when I am hurting so much. That one thing I could call Hope is GOD. He is my bestfriend. My perfect bestfriend. He is the only one who loves me no matter what. No matter how ugly I am or how pathetic I am. He listens to me 24 hours a day. He listens with a loving eyes. He is not afraid to listen to me, my problems. He is always by my side.
I have exeperienced many problems in my life. Both my parents almost commited suicide. My father, due to depression has Alzheimers disease. He first forgot my name. Then up to the point that he thought his reflection in the mirror is someone else. Now he is bedridden. i I I had experienced being almost kidnapped and threatened. I had experienced almost all of my relatives and friends turning on against us all at the same time. I felt so abandoned. One thing that has kept me intact - It is God. He helped me and is still continuing to help me.
I don't know how I could help those who are in pain too. If even I could help someone out, I know at one point I would hurt them too. I am only a human afterall. Imperfect.
Maybe those who are in pain had tried everything. From talking to friends, having a lover, or going to a professional.
I don't know how you could get past that pain in your life. But maybe there is Hope in God.
If you had tried everything and it is still nothing work out, try to pick up a Bible. Read through Psalms. Maybe, just maybe, God can give you hope.
I found love in God. I hope you can too.
MrBoombastic 22-25, M 0 Jun 19, 2012