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Am I Not Good Enough?

A lot of times I question myself: what's wrong with me? What's not to love in me? What's so complicated about me? What's lacking in me? I torture myself into thinking these kinds of questions because people keep saying, "you're beautiful or you're pretty or you're kind" and all, "why don't you have a boyfriend?" Then I tell them, I don't know because I really don't. Am I not good enough for people (guys) nowadays? Is there a certain criteria I have to follow?
I'm not complaining about not having a boyfriend but I also want to experience having someone there to take care of me, knowing that he thinks of me often and misses me at times. Someone whom I'm constantly in love with and who's constantly in love with me. Someone whom I can share my problems, ideas and thoughts with. Someone who can sing for me and whom I can create music with. Or even someone who'll say good night to me in the hope of waking up in the morning knowing that he's still there and will always be there for me. Someone whom I can be  myself with, someone who can laugh at my corny jokes or even make corny jokes so I can laugh. Someone whom I can always trust and will always be honest with me. Of course, I also want to be all this for that person. The problem is, no one comes to me and tells me that they like me, or something like that. Maybe because they're intimidated that I'm working already at such a young age (I started working when I was 20 years old).
I'm happy being single but for once I would like to try that so-called "having butterflies in the stomach" kind of feeling when you're around the person you love and who loves you back. Of course, I know that it will not be all good. There may be sad times but that's all part of it.
Do I sound that desperate? I hope not. I just want to find some answers to these questions in my mind. Who wouldn't want to be loved by someone special anyway (I mean except for family and friends of course)?
unappreciated unappreciated 22-25, F 47 Responses May 8, 2007

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I feel the same...and I put myself out there all the time, openly express my feelings and affections for someone when I feel it in my heart, but the feeling is almost never mutual nor reciprocated. I have a lot of personal success in life..but relationships are my main shortcoming. Ive only had one man show me kindness and affection, my only boyfriend. I am in my twenties now...my closest girlfriends have fallen in and out of years worth if long relationship stints. I can never relate to their boyfriend woes or the happiest times when they brag about different ways they are shown love- anniversaries, dates, weekend getaways...I feel not only excluded and that I am missing out on a normal and quintessential part of life...but that maybe I am for some reason unlovable. I love myself...and I dont really mind being alone; when I look in the mirror I see a fresh, youthful face, healthy body, bright smile and dimples; I see my soul which is warm and receptive. What really eats at me is the deep sorrow that lingers within knowing how many times ive extended my hand out of love with my heart in my palm only to have it gnawed at and spit out. I feel like failure.

Sincerely,
Lola.

I'm a single guy, I totally empathize with your situation. In my experience, I have noticed that people respond accordingly to visual stimulation, they like or dislike what they see, someone could have the best heart and soul in the entire planet, however, if they don't look right, i.e overweight or just not considered visually pleasing, then they are considered not worthy of anyone's time let alone love and companionship. People say to me "Yes but that's incredibly shallow" and they are right, but we do live in a very shallow world and that's just how it is. I'm not saying that's everyone, but it is most. I really hope you find someone that sees you as good enough and worthy for the beautiful person you are, you will be doing much better then me!

IMAGINE WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF EVERYONE DECIDED TO RIP OFF THEIR MASKS AND LIVE IN HONESTY.LOVE WOULD FLOW FREE IN THE HIGHWAY.

i feel like i could have written this.

i know how u feel i think that all the time because im a disabled virgin at 26

ok I would like to put out there....stop looking. At 60 I have spent my entire life looking for someone to love me unconditionally. At 31 I thought I had found that person. We had 23 great years(I thought) then he had an affair. We are making it work but now I am right back to that insecure person that wanted to know (and still does) why am I not good enough? Everyone keeps saying he is not good enough he cheated. Well yes he did but I wasn't good enough to make him happy or keep him. I forgot, got comfortable, and let down those walls. Now again I am not good enough. NO matter what people tell me, including my husband who takes full responsibility. I feel not good enough. The problem is in me, not him(or them) . Until we become worth it to ourselves, we will never be worth it. I am fighting myself for that feeling , but at my age I can't get past its too late, and I have failed at life. Please get up and go at life head on FOR YOURSELF. Let someone go along for the ride and enjoy it with you if the chance comes up(and it will) but don't ever forget you are driving and your joy and love of life is what will fullfill you and everyone else. I don't mean be selfish. You have to give in this world. I believe you are put here to serve others, but not to be used or taken for granted. Give to yourself first so you are able to give lovingly and freely to others and love will gravitate to you effortlessly.

Well said.

I am the same. I'm always the homegirl or cool to be around but never good enough to go to the next level. I'm single and put my career first, I cook, clean and make sure I take care if my man but I get we moving to fast and we are better off being friends. All I can say is hold on God has something good in store for you. At least that's what I tell myself. Good luck!!!!

i can understand what that feeling is i used to feel the same but it's totally different now .. its always better to wait for the right person to walk into ur life .. i have been through the same feeling but then someone came into my life he made me feel like he cares for me i got attached and at the end i was told it was ol my mistake and i should be sorry to myself so its better that you allow someone who can stand with you at odd times and someone you can trust .. and live ur life happily without feeling that emptiness ..its better to wait for the right person than to feel shattered .. tc :)

Its not that they dont like you! Its that they dont want to like you! They think that the kindest people can be ride once you get to knw them, so make a friend thats a guy, hang aroung him, once he gets to know the REAL you, take it further :)

I completely understand where you're coming from because I am currently in the exact same situation. A lot of people say having a guy isn't everything but just like you, I've never experienced being honestly loved by one and want to know what it's like. There's so-called admirers and once, been in a "relationship" with someone but it wasn't real. All they saw was my "pretty face" and "nice body". No sweet actions like Valentine cards to show for it, even though people kept telling me I was attractive. I've always wondered if maybe it's because I'm too quiet, but it is who I naturally am. I can't just change that because it's one of the traits that define me. Am hoping that one day there'll be this one special guy who will bother to reach under all the protective layers to get to know me. Because I am tired of being looked at like I have nothing beyond my appearance. It's a really lonely feeling.

yes yes yes~!! same here.. so you are not alone. haha!

:) Yeah, still waiting actually. Prince Charming's probably lost a boot, or got his royal cape caught in the bushes or something like that... whatever it is, I wish you luck in finding him.

Same to you there ^^. All the best ya. XD

I understand how all of you feel and I have been through that stage. I have been married for 5 yrs and unfortunately, I ended up being more lonely than ever. I realize that life is too short to find someone to make oneself happy. The only person who can make you feel complete is yourself and loving somebody is just like a bonus in your life. If that person loves you back, it's a jackpot. If not, then it's a nightmare.

Too sad words from you while you have more people and life to be happy to have.

I know the feeling.
And the two times in my life I ever reached out to try and find somebody, I got shot down. Not that that hurt terribly its just like "Wow. Really?"

I just kind of came to terms with the idea that maybe it's gonna take a bit longer for me to find that someone, or even grow into the someone that I should be, and when it does, it'll be great.

I just know it.

I look at all the people around me and all the crap they deal with in their relationships because they've jumped into them so early and quickly and wonder why they even bother staying in them because all they do is complain and argue.

I know no relationship can be perfect, but it can be better than that. Maybe all it takes is a bit of time? Who knows?

Here is some advice. Start playing video games and get really good at them. You will have a bajillion guys to choose from. For serious. If you're a guy, ignore that and join a band instead.

well im not picky since im disabled but i would love a girl gamer my self

I don't even know if love is possible. <br />
<br />
I hoped for soooo long.<br />
<br />
Now I step back and look hard at myself. <br />
<br />
I'm over 40. I've been been down that road (love) a few times, and been disappointed, hurt, stomped on, tossed away... every unkind word is a brick. <br />
<br />
Every rejection. <br />
<br />
Every "it's not you, it's me." <br />
<br />
Every "I just like you as a friend." <br />
<br />
Every "I care about you, but..."<br />
<br />
Bricks.<br />
<br />
I have a huge stack of them. I'm building a fortress. The walls are high and thick, so no one will ever scratch my raw heart again. <br />
<br />
I'm done.

I feel the same way

Aaah... look at all the lonely people - The Beatles <br />
<br />
(and as a married woman of 26, I am certainly no exception)

Wow it is like you just looked into my eyes(which I know you cannot) and saw all this within me, but you just used your name. I could have not said it any better. Many days and night I ask myself these same questions over and over. I truly feel that my love must not be as good as I think it is. I literally would climb the highest mountain, swim the deepest sea to find that one man.

me too :(

I am the point now where I have just given up. I realize now that there is really no one for me. I tried and tried and I tried. So I have said goodbye to finding that one person for me. I will turn 50 this year and lord I did not want to live another 50 years alone, but this is what it looks like is going to happen.

My worst fear is your current reality

i'm sorry u feel that way

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Never think you aren't good enough. People who think you won't find a guy like that really have the odds against them. Because they are saying that you don't have a 1 in 3 billion chance of finding one guy who believes in the same things you do. But your odds are so much better than that already, because I also want the kind of relationship you want (and I'm still just a 19 year old boy in college, I have my whole life ahead of me). I think you are the perfect kind of girl for me and many other guys out there and they would be extremely lucky to know that you think about them as much as they think about you. There is hope!

I feel the same. Although i may not be very attractive and handsome, I just wish that there is someone who loves me and cares about my existence.

This is all the same as I feel. Every guy that I've ever felt like there could be something with it never works out. Every single guy ive hung out with has only wanted me for one thing. I'm not an unattractive girl either, but it's hard to find a true caring and genuine guy. What makes it even harder is that I'm waiting to have sex til I find that guy, which is hard with all the people my age because everyone does it. Granted I'm only 20 years old, but I've been single for 4 years, and my longest relationship was 3 months. I know I'm young but I'm pretty mature for my age and I'm not sure if that's the problem. I just feel something is wrong with me being as I'm still alone and haven't been close to being in a relationship in so long. Know God is there for me helps a lot, but still is just hard to think that I could be alone the rest of my life seeing how things have been going.. Maybe there will be someone for me in heaven someday..

wow... for a second i thought i wrote this

I feel your pain. I'm in the same place, but we will get through it. Good luck to you.

for some reason i think i should have written this blog. im 23 and i have not found anyone yet. i think i am better of alone for the rest of my life. true im miserable but at least i am not ruining someone else life.

Aw D :
I felt that way for a while. I'm just so odd and out of place with the rest of humanity that I thought I'd be okay with being completely alone. Then I realized...even if I am alone, if I don't find love like that, I still have my friends and family and if I wanted to, I could make my own family.
But don't give up completely. Please don't.
Find your light.

My and my best friend are friends with benefits. I know, someone always gets hurt, and I know that that soemone is me. But I can't help it. I want him, to hold me, kiss me, I'm so happy withhow we are. Sometimes I think one day we will get married. And I am so in love with hi. It's stupid. But I know he doesn't feel the same. I know he wants a REAL relationship, and deffinately not with me. He tell me I'm beautiful, fine the way I am, he never wants me to change and I'm almost perfect (he says almost because nothing is perfect) but every day I thinkto myself, if he thinks all this then why am I not good enough to be in a real relationship with him? Why does he feel embarassed to be nice to me in front of our friends? He's always Been there for me and he tells me he loves me vey much and it feels like a lie. And when I say so he says none of it is a lie. He says he will never leave me and he hasn't, for 5 years he's never left me. But I'm not good enough to be with him. Isn't he happy with how we are?

i dont no if i believe in god anymore, ive prayed n cryed 2 god but never got an answer, im not a bad looking girl (many people said i shud be a model) not dat i wud listen but i was with dis fella for 3 years with 5 kids who is only 30 (im 22) i love him with all my heart but he seems 2 think its alrite 4 us 2 sit in da house 24/7 doin nothin but sit around his friends talkin shite,its not like i was asking much just dat he tried ta get a babysitter once a week so we cud spend time 2gether but he cudnt make dat effort even doh da first time i was otta town he had a babysitter 4 three nites in a row so he cud hang with his friends, ive nottin against his friends but y cudnt he get a babysitter wen i was der! i did everything 4 him, cooked, cleaned, looked after his kids, gave him sex wenever he wanted but i still felt like i wasnt good enough, never mind my past relationships wher all my guys cheated on me, i no id be a good girlfriend n wife, so i asked god y im bein punished 4? wot did i ever do wrong, i asked him so many times 2 help me trew da pain i was goin trew but it seems like he just leads me in2 more pain n doesnt seem 2 care how i feel or how much it hurts 2 leave another failed relationship behind, i feel like im wasted my time in relationships cuz u always get hurt in da end but yet girls who sleep wit everythin n anythin always seems 2 get da fellas who spoile dem n treat dem like princesses while me bein a gud girl gets da biggerst dirtbags ever...............

i dont no if i believe in god anymore, ive prayed n cryed 2 god but never got an answer, im not a bad looking girl (many people said i shud be a model) not dat i wud listen but i was with dis fella for 3 years with 5 kids who is only 30 (im 22) i love him with all my heart but he seems 2 think its alrite 4 us 2 sit in da house 24/7 doin nothin but sit around his friends talkin shite,its not like i was asking much just dat he tried ta get a babysitter once a week so we cud spend time 2gether but he cudnt make dat effort even doh da first time i was otta town he had a babysitter 4 three nites in a row so he cud hang with his friends, ive nottin against his friends but y cudnt he get a babysitter wen i was der! i did everything 4 him, cooked, cleaned, looked after his kids, gave him sex wenever he wanted but i still felt like i wasnt good enough, never mind my past relationships wher all my guys cheated on me, i no id be a good girlfriend n wife, so i asked god y im bein punished 4? wot did i ever do wrong, i asked him so many times 2 help me trew da pain i was goin trew but it seems like he just leads me in2 more pain n doesnt seem 2 care how i feel or how much it hurts 2 leave another failed relationship behind, i feel like im wasted my time in relationships cuz u always get hurt in da end but yet girls who sleep wit everythin n anythin always seems 2 get da fellas who spoile dem n treat dem like princesses while me bein a gud girl gets da biggerst dirtbags ever...............

wow u totally described how i feel! Hope u find that someone!

HunnehCat (and everybody),<br />
<br />
You just gave out the exact remedy to overcome those feelings. At some point, not long ago, I also felt negative like that and I even shared my feelings here. And you know what? And this is for everybody, I decided to take matters into my own hands and did exactly what you just said. I prayed like never before and read books like The Alchemist (highly recommended). Also, somehow I trained myself to push away from my mind all those thoughts that caused me pain, and that is key right there. If you can achieve that, trust me, it goes a long way benefiting you. I also sought the companionship of my closest friends, took a dance class, and even joined a dating site! I'm now starting to date a great guy, in a few days I'll be adopting a new puppy and best of all, I feel like never before. I feel like new. Something happened during that journey of recovery that transformed me. I have been known for being negative, but what I gained from this process is unique. For the first time in my life, I feel happy. I know this is not something that occurs overnight, and those precious human beings out there that still are in that dark place may not be feeling very motivated by what Im saying (Ive been there, I know), but you must take all the positive advice you can get from everybody and that painful path you're in will become shorter and a thing of the past sooner than you think. Take care of yourselves, keep yourselves busy, pray, believe in and ask God for guidance (He will listen I promise!), do things you've never done before, join that dating site! :-) ....I can keep going on and on. I am living this right now. And trust me, feeling "new", happy, transformed, are the best feelings in the world and I dont want them to ever go away! You, too, can do it! You just need to be strong and trust yourselves! God bless all of you!

HunnehCat (and everybody),<br />
<br />
You just gave out the exact remedy to overcome those feelings. At some point, not long ago, I also felt negative like that and I even shared my feelings here. And you know what? And this is for everybody, I decided to take matters into my own hands and did exactly what you just said. I prayed like never before and read books like The Alchemist (highly recommended). Also, somehow I trained myself to push away from my mind all those thoughts that caused me pain, and that is key right there. If you can achieve that, trust me, it goes a long way benefiting you. I also sought the companionship of my closest friends, took a dance class, and even joined a dating site! I'm now starting to date a great guy, in a few days I'll be adopting a new puppy and best of all, I feel like never before. I feel like new. Something happened during that journey of recovery that transformed me. I have been known for being negative, but what I gained from this process is unique. For the first time in my life, I feel happy. I know this is not something that occurs overnight, and those precious human beings out there that still are in that dark place may not be feeling very motivated by what Im saying (Ive been there, I know), but you must take all the positive advice you can get from everybody and that painful path you're in will become shorter and a thing of the past sooner than you think. Take care of yourselves, keep yourselves busy, pray, believe in and ask God for guidance (He will listen I promise!), do things you've never done before, join that dating site! :-) ....I can keep going on and on. I am living this right now. And trust me, feeling "new", happy, transformed, are the best feelings in the world and I dont want them to ever go away! You, too, can do it! You just need to be strong and trust yourselves! God bless all of you!

i have faced such situations throughout my life!! i don't know what is wrong with me!! i love her but she says we are just friends and behaves accordingly ! i don't know whether i'll ever get her but i love her, i love her like mad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reading this post was like reading my life's story. I'm 31 and stil don't know what it is like for a man to say "I Love You" to me. I've had "relationships" in the past but none of them lasted longer than 3 months. I feel empty in the inside. So many heartbreaks in my life have weaken me to the point that I do everything in my power to not meet anyone, only to avoid pain. But at the same time, I'm dying to be loved. To have a special someone who loves me, who cares about me, who would choose ME over other women instead of the other way around. My heart literally hurts. I believe in God but I must admit, I sometimes have conflicting feelings toward him. Sometimes I trust him and have faith but other times, when the pain is too great, I feel abandoned. I say all this also because besides lacking love in my life, I recently made a wrong move with someone and ended up pregnant. That baby became the joy of my life even though I never got to meet him. His own dad killed him before he was even born. So, that's another huge reason why I feel abandoned. Because I've been denied love all my life, and now also, the chance of becoming a mother. I feel so destroyed and so sad all the time. A few months ago I met a great guy at work and I took the chance of letting him in. And it all happened again. He decided to get back with his ex. I don't know what to do anymore. I pray every night, I thank God for all his blessings, I go to church every Sunday. In other words, I reach out to him, and still I feel like he doesn't listen sometimes. I'm new in the city I live at and have only one friend that I see once or twice a month, and no family at all. How can I be optimistic and not feel sad and lonely? I'm truly desperate for a change in this life.

its the same here sweetheart...............except I am a guy...............once in my life I was in love and I was loved but that day is long gone......I just only f****ing 27 years.......after the breakup with my love.....I completely got lost and I couldnt think of anything except her.....till now I am like that........it hurts.......it hurts a lot when I c peoples being loved and taken care of.......I dont know if its fate or just me!!!!!!

Trust me....you could be absolutely perfect and you still wouldn't be 'good enough' for some guy...coz most of them are jerks. Not all of them...but a large percentage. <br />
I am 24, at the top of my career as a dressage rider....my own house, car...nice lush life... independant and successful..... but I was recently DUMPED because of it. Because apparently 'having money' makes me selfish, and a snob. Dont just settle for any old *******... Wait until you find the right guy. Being on your own is way better than being with some dumbass who is terrified of being with a girl who is more successful than him and his ****** band. <br />
Rant over :)<br />
M x (read my blog for more details)

I've gone through this feeling of not being wanted since I was very young. No guy I ever have liked has like me back. There haven't been many but each one has hurt me very badly. I've taken all the advice there is to take and nothing has worked. I'm 23 and I've only been approached by two young men in my entire life. Both of them were after what made them feel good and in the end, they didn't want me at all. They just wanted what I was good for to them. I feel like God doesn't care about me or about how much pain I've been in for the last ten years. And just like JustARandomGuy posted, don't play me the God card. He created me to feel and have these desires and He's sitting back watching me suffer. I've never been good enough for anyone. I feel like I've wilted away. I met a very nice young man three years ago and I fell in love with him. We never dated. He told me he just didn't want that with me. But he always treated me so special that I just knew that one day he'd realize how great I was but he never did. He found someone else. I feel like she's my double. And I've been left with all kinds of questions. Why wasn't I good enough? What did you see in me that was such a dealbreaker for you that you didn't even want to give me a chance? I've told myself also that if I have to live with this much longer, I'll kill myself too. It just hurts to much to not be wanted or loved, desired or cherished by any guy in my life.

Change the topic. ask for what you can give instead of what you seek for.

That post was awesome, I feel the same way. I was married once very young and now my husband is dead. It was not a good marriage but I miss coming home and having someone to talk too. I miss having someone just to spend time with and someone that will love me for who I am not what they want me to be. <br />
<br />
It is frustrating when I know that I"m doing everything to be a good person, honest person, healthy person and a person who looks deep down inside and tries to improve. I want to get married again. I pray, I wait but still....what is wrong with me.

hi!<br />
i just wanted to state that i pretty much feel the same as you. i am an all time happy guy, who never was sad despite bad things sometimes happen. i don't know if i am making myself understood, what i mean is, even when things go wrong, i was allways happy, i just thought i was an optimistic guy. <br />
A year ago love knocked on my door, and i embraced it, i was at an all time high of happiness, nothing could make me sad... absolutely nothing, we were really in love... but suddenly it happend "well, i just don't feel the same" she said, and never again was i the same...<br />
7 month have passed, and i havent felt like i used to before i got into this love thing... she is already with another guy, i am her best friend. im not complaining or anything... im just sad... in the past seven years, i had a 3 month relationship... i just feel unloved.... and thats the only thing that brings me down... its the worst feeling possible and i don't see it getting better. in the mean time i started to like to be around this other girl i met, but when i thought things were going ok, and i thought she might like me, she said "oh no, i just like you as a good friend, but please, don't go away from me, your the kind of guy i would like to be present in my life"<br />
so, that pretty much ended with all my expectations...not a single girl wants to be with me...<br />
i just feel abandoned.<br />
oh and dont come with the God card. i dont need that kind of love... i want someone to hug me, and to hug back, someone i can be with and talk to and be talked back... i want to love someone and be loved back...

thanks to everyone who had had time to read and comment on my story,. I'd like to let you all know that I have found that love I have always been longing for... the love of GOD,. I have found joy in Jesus and I am continually being active in my ministry,. I really am thankful that Jesus dies for me... for us,. I'm really happy that I have come to know Him better, before it's too late,. :D thanks guys! you really made me feel happy just by commenting on my story and leaving pieces of advice,. :D thanks to God, I now feel loved,. I no longer feel abandoned,. God bless you all! xoxo

U are too young ,U sud nt giveup hope!!! But sometimes it happens with mature people like me.I feel the same ,though in a little different way,coz me being married and having kids is different ,but whom I love so much never feel the same way ,while others says so many compliments to my beauty ,and my pleasant personality,but unfortunately ,not appreciated by my man!!!!!!It hurts like hell...dont understand yet the reason of that!!!!!

Killing yourself is never an answer. So many of us feel this way and we have to do things to make ourselves look and feel better for ourselves. I too feel this at times. Sometimes more then others. And it's hard to reassure yourself especially when you think your lying to yourself. Self pep talk is better then anything anyone can ever give us. And self appreciation. It's a long road that, but we can only do for ourselves.

I agree. Look at it this way. If you do believe in life after this life, how do you know if you kill yourself the pain will be gone in the afterlife? If the soul lives on, and can still feel love, it can still feel pain too. But then you'd have the regret of not being able to return to living to do something about the pain (e.g. persevering until you get to where life is what you wanted--and that is possible, part of that is finding and following your dreams). Suicide is never an answer, no matter what you believe. I am speaking from experience as I did something between attempting and "cutting" (without cutting) behavior in the past, and I came to the above realization, and am healthier and strong in who I am.

Unapreciated.....god....is questionable.If hes almighty then why would he hesitate to ease our pain?He can alter reality......but second guesses himself on mercy.Regardless of god.....i am not loved....i guess im just not good enough.Ive tried killing myself.Ive had enough.

I have "somebody" but it's all about her and she's never happy with what I do. We use to have a slow and ok sexual life and then she suddenly stopped. And it's ok that we don't do anything but I have to feel important and like a "man". The way she makes me feel is like if we break up I'll never have anybody interested in me because I'm not good looking enough to attract anybody. All of my family has either died or purposely abandoned me except my mother, and so I have a feeling of unwanted all the time. My girlfriend doesn't seem to care because we've fought over how I'm made to feel by her. She doesn't care that I feel highly unattractive and unloved. Because she treats me poorly and she wants everything about her I'm forced to feel unloved. She's always wanting to leave me because i don't make her happy when nothing short of everything about her makes her happy. And when I bring up that I feel unwanted she gets upset and wants to leave or; she makes me feel good for somewhere between a weekend to a week. When that time period is over it's back to all about her. I don't want a sexual relationship I just want to be physically wanted and know I am. But at this this point I'm pretty sure that I won't ever have anybody that loves me for me because she always wants to leave and I don't feel like anybody will want me after her. I'm growing to accept the fact that I'll most likely live and die alone most my life. So if anybody has any advise please help. The only reason I stay with this girl is cause this is all the love I can get and at least it's something right? So please help, thanks.

I feel that way too. I think a lot of people do. It's so hard because that's what I want most in life...what you're describing. I know it's not something that just happens every day but I want it bad! Not having it hurts. I had a girl I felt that way about...but she didn't seem to feel the same exactly. We weren't a team like we were supposed to be. She didn't seem to grasp the idea of working together to better one another. She just thought of me as this special guy she was dating. Maybe I'm too heavy handed as a lover...but I just want to share the beautiful parts of life with someone else...and it just seems like I can't.

contraversy...<br />
<br />
you are so right! I mean, I should not be too hard up on myself because I know that God is always by my side,., He's always there watching over me and I know that He will never leave me,.,<br />
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well, this sharing was a long time ago,., I guess at that time I was too caught up with the pain, not realizing the good things happening around me,., But now I'm okay, I 'd very much single and I am loving it,., I am waiting but I'm not stressing on it,., I know that God is still writing the best love story of my life,., I know He's not yet done,.,<br />
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Thanks though...

AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH 4 U<br />
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Wow...First I start an account just to answer/comment this story...and...well...She will never know the answer unless someone wo's been there and now knows...tells her.<br />
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OK..young..attractive...perplexed lady...here it goes...."the kind of guy the authoress wants...aptly as she described him....IS GOD HIMSELF... HE ASKED THE SAME QUESTION WHILE HE WATCHED HER LABOUR OVER THIS STORY ....HE WATCHED WITH A LONGING SPIRIT IN THE UNSEEN REALM.<br />
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SO NO TIME TO WASTE...THE KING HIMSELF WANTS YOU TO SEEK HIM AND HIS KINGDOM OUT....LEARN AND KNOW ABOUT AND SETTLE THINGS FIRST WITH HIM AND AFTER THAT YOU CAN HAVE ANYONE YOU WANT...THAT HE LETS YOU HAVE OF COURSE...BUT THEN YOU WANTED PROTECTION TOO...REMEMBER? SO WHO CAN PROTECT YOU BETTER THAN GOD HIMSELF???<br />
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IN FACT...I THINK HE PROTECTED YOU ALL THIS WAY ALONG ANYWAYS...SO U COULD COME TO WRITING THIS AND I COULD COME TO ANSWER IT!<br />
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DARE I SAY GROOVY...OR DOES SOMEONE WANT TO ASK QUESTIONS...<br />
Contraversy..July 08-08

I guess as they say "If you are looking for it, you will find it" is true, it's the law of attraction.

i couldn't have said it better myself. i truly, truly feel the same way. right now i'm going through this issue with my ex... where he says i'm perfect for him... (but he left me)... and that he's just scared it's not going to work. i've never understood that. but you know what? i also know that if you keep loving yourself, i mean, truly appreciating you for you (and for example, the way you presented this experience was so eloquent...), the "right" person will come along. it'll be great. i like to think of it as, it's just not the time, you know? but it will happen. it has to. :)

My ex said the same of me basically. I think it just means they're not invested, and we deserve someone who can invest in us and in a relationship. The hardest part is realizing there IS someone like that out there, as you said. I think our greatest gift is our ability to love, and we are always loved (even if not in a relationship), by family, friends, God (if you believe in God), etc. I agree that loving ourselves is one of the most powerful things we can do for ourselves.