He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not...

I've wondered if he loves me everyday now for 4 years. He is the love of my life, my lover, my sexual lover. We've never went on a date. All we do is spend a few hours or a night at each others houses a couple times a week. But we have an odd connection that just seems to work. We both share very similar lifestyles, no kids, hard workers, management positions, and mature enough to enjoy being home instead of partying with others. We share the same type of humor. The problem is we both have a wall so high up we cant see each other. All I want to do is break this wall down. I want us to be together so bad. 4 years is a long time. Couples get married and have kids within that time frame, we haven't even approached a formal relationship. But at the same time, it feels so good to be single. To not have to worry about where my boyfriend is, who he is seeing, and what he is doing. Him and I live a very peaceful life where we can text each other a few short sentences here and there and arrange a time to see each other without any conflict what so ever. It works so perfectly. I do however wish we could cuddle more and tell each other how we feel. I'm ready for love, and I can't see anyone else being in my life but him. The few times I've brought it up he's told me its not time and we should enjoy what we have. I dont know how much longer I can hold it in. I just want to be loved.
ShyOne85 ShyOne85
26-30, F
2 Responses Nov 28, 2012

As long as he will be ready for fulltime commitment one day

yes,,I agree,,after 4 years of intimacy,there should more than love,,but truly falling in love,,and indeed having a relationship,,,,some men have a mentality of ,,why buy the cow if the milk is free,,,and a true being in love relationship is not part of their desired life style