Can Fwb Ever Turn Into A Lovestory?

Theres this guy...weve been intimate for about three months tho with a one month break. I am very fast falling in love but i dont think he feels the same. :/ he knows how i feel and last night gave me a full body massage by candelight and we made passionate love. For me it was simply amazing. For him i think he just got caught up in the moment. Isnt it cruel of him to give me such an amazing night knowing no one has ever treated so nicely, but to not feel love for me back? It seems cruel to me, how could he not know that would make me fall deeper faster? Hes smart and perceptive...how could he not realize what that would do to me? I hope he does love me back. Im too terrified to ask. I hope this turns into a lovestory with a happily ever after. I just want to be loved the way i love him.
Leena1981 Leena1981
31-35, F
9 Responses Nov 30, 2012

I have been guilty of this before and have had to end a perfectly fine relationship because I felt I was going to hurt the girl. To be clear, I did love her when we were together and i was not the wandering type at all at that time. When i was with her i was only with her. However, i never committed to any long term thing and I had made this clear at the start. Its possible it could have developed into something long term but she was looking for that much earlier than I was ready. So, even though i loved her and the sex was great we had to part ways. I am sure she feels betrayal but I feel I have only done the right thing. I have been alone since and miss her a lot but I am not going to see her again. Closure is hard to come by and the heart heals slower than one may imagine.

Leena,

If you don't ask, how will you truly know if he cares for you or not. Get out of that being shy stage, and ask him. And if he says that it was just a fling, move on. There are a lot of guys that would love to be with a pretty lady like you. Take my word for it!

I know how you feel. I have a boyfriend who french kissed me, and touched me for a month. He since has stopped because of religeous beliefs. He claims he and still wants to be with me. We spend time together, but I know hes capable of more. I love him, so now Im stuck in the middle so to speak! I miss the affection.

Leena,

Good story, bu sadly, love doesn't always go as we'd want it to. Sometimes what we perceive it to be, isn't.

Don't be afraid to ask this guy how he feels about you. Try this, take him to the bar one night when there's alot of other ladies around. See what his reaction to you is like after a few drinks. Let him wander off and watch him from afar, to see what he does. If he cares avout you, he won't go scamming on the other ladies and he'll remain your bf/lover, etc. Just a suggestion from someone who's been through it, before. And if you need a 'shoulder' to cry on, I'm here for you :) G.

From your last comment it appears to me he is just using you. Unrequited love is devastating and shocks and hurts you to the core.In my opinion I think you should terminate this relationship before he does.He is not the right man for you.The pain you are feeling will fade and you will recover from this experience and meet a man who will appreciate and love you for the person you are.
Best wishes,
garvan :-)

Thx everyone. I got up the courage to ask him. He doesnt. Its ok. I already knew in my soul he didnt. Im devastated that someone would be so amazing w me just to show me ppl like him exsist n then take it away n say but...ur not the one i want to give this too. Im unloveable.

DON'T say youre unloveable. Every one deserves to be loved. Just b/c he didnt doesnt mean that you are and dont hammer that into your head that you are. He probably is in a different state of mind in his life. I learned from experience to leave guys who are looking for fwbs and one night stands ALONE, especially if you're looking for something more than he is. You sound like a nice girl and I'm pretty certain you will find a guy who wants to treat you better, I'm sure theres a few as we speak. Keep your hope up.

You aren't unlovable. It's just that the relationship didn't work out. Find out ways to share your mind and soul with others not just your body. I would think you want to be with a man who loves all of you before you make love to him.

Thx hun u are soooo sweet!! :)

You did not say weather he has told you he loved you are not .' if you been together this long with out him saying them word's that could mean something different to him.Its strange you say he makes you feel so good but yet you make your self so unhappy by thinking like you do .The only way two people will ever be truly in love is when you both can open up enough to talk to each other about any thing and every thing with out judgment from the other .And since you have not ask him how he feel's about you then you probably will never know if you do not talk to him .

You want him to love you mind, body, soul by sharing with him you mind and soul more. Then he will love you. Share all of it with him but slowly. The tough part is a woman bonds in sex differently than men. It's just how it is.

You need him to love your mind and soul before you give him your body in my opinion.

Friends with benefits never end well. Only thing unfair isnt you both sharing your sexual attraction and affection bc everyone needs that in their lives. Its just unfair he didnt let you know where you stand in the beginning. Ask him how he feels. If he says no, then cut your losses and find someone you really deserve.