I Was Too Blind to See Him...
heyy this is my story...
Love was one of the words that was missing in my early teen years. My love life was really boring. I had never been in love. The only love I felt was for my parents, my brothers, my relatives and my friends. I didn't know why, but I felt really lonely during those early years of my teens. I loved reading romance novels and I often dreamed of my "Prince Charming" or my "knight in shining armor" coming to my rescue. But no one came in my real life. I was always on the lookout for cute guys, always hoping that a day would come that I would finally meet him. But that day never came. It never came, because the person I was looking for was right there all along. He was right there in front of me but I was too blind to see him. He was a friend of mine; let's just call him Ace. An accident happened that made me realize that he was the one. He was rushed to a hospital because of an accident that nearly killed him and my friends. During those days that he was absent from school, I realized that I was missing him. And when he finally showed up, I was so happy and relieved that he was safe.
He was then courting a girl named Pauline. Before the accident, I was one of his friends who helped him court the girl. And because of that I felt sad and I hated myself for that. I didn't know what I felt whenever I saw him with Pauline. Until one day I confided to my friend Lui, and she told me that I was jealous and that I was in love with Ace. I couldn't believe it! How could I not see it? But it was too late. He was in love with Pauline and I couldn't do anything about it. Then one day I found out that Pauline dumped him because she was not yet ready for a serious relationship. Ace was devastated. And I was really angry with Pauline for causing him so much pain. But I could not do anything without revealing my true feelings. And I was so afraid to let him know because I was not his type of girl. He can never love me because I do not possess the qualities that he liked in a girl. And I will never do anything to ruin our friendship.
So me and my girlfriends kept it secret. Even though I know that Ace can never love me, I can't help but hope that he might see me as me. Then one day, as myself and my friends were watching TV in a friend's house, he arrived with a girl, whom he introduced to us as the new girl he was courting. Her name was Roanne. I felt so lost and I felt my heart ache as I saw him with Roanne. But his courtship didn't last long. He was bored because they didn't see each other very often. And his feelings for her suddenly disappeared. I didn't know what or how I would feel about it. But deep down, I know I was happy because I was hoping that I'm the one for him. I kept my feelings for him secret for a year. But then the worst thing happen. It was during our intramurals when two of my friends, Lui and Yasmin, told me that Ace is again in love with a girl named Giselle. She was in love with Ace since our first year. I was soooo devastated by what I heard. Ace courted Giselle for seven years, and then they became boyfriend and girlfriend.
I decided to end my fantasies. Because my feelings for Ace were only a dream that could never come true. Ace and Giselle's relationship was a rollercoaster. They often fought, and I always saw Ace with a tearful eye. I want to ease his pain but I know I cannot and I don't have the right. Until now I don't know what to do. I don't know how to forget about him. But I know I can never do that, especially now that he and Giselle are having a fight. I'm so confused, do I need to forget him? Or do I have to prove my feelings for him? I know he needs someone right now. But I don't know what to do. All I know is that I'm in love with a friend of mine.
Love Alyx xoxo
- Alone without anyone