Single Forever...

I have a great life, wonderful parents, an amazing brother, and friends that love me. I feel so...selfish when I become depressed because all I want is that special guy who's arms I can curl up into and be at peace with the world. Everytime I see a couple walking hand in hand I want to destroy everything they have. I want to damage thier souls and thier hearts like mine have been damaged.

I am 24 and I have yet to have a boyfriend. When people find out they ask me why...I dont know why. I did not plan for things to happen like this. I have liked guys, I have dreamed about being with those guys. You would think that I have some dirty perverted mind where every guy I see I think about sleeping with or something. But its not even like that. The whole idea of sex is not even prestent in my mind half the time. I just want to be held and kissed and...maybe even a little adored. I just want to be loved. I want to trust that there is some kind of future family for me. I want to trust that I will not live forever alone and die alone leaving nothing in the world that lets my name live on.

Honestly, I just want to know what its like to be so in love that nothing could bring me down.

HallowSoul HallowSoul
22-25, F
2 Responses Feb 23, 2010

In my own history I've found that the times when I was almost disinterested in having a relationship is when one came along. I think it has something to do with being happy with yourself and with just being with yourself. That happiness/contentedness shows through and makes you more attractive.<br />
<br />
Also, take some pride in your appearance, take care of yourself and do activities that you enjoy and you'll likely find others that enjoy that same activity. It's always good to start a relationship with someone you have something in common with.

We all long for that person in our lives but what we don't realize is how much work it is to keep that picture perfect relationship until we have it. Chances are that you will find a special person in your lifetime. I wish you luck.<br />
<br />
ps: Congratulations on having a great family otherwise. Some of us do not have that support.