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How Do I Tell My Sister How Angry I Am?

I'm normally a happy-go-lucky girl, but it all ended 5 months ago when my sister's boyfriend has been sleeping over 3 times a week. Honestly, I am not the same person I was 5 months ago. I have been bottling up all my anger and it's giving me bad headaches and sadness when he is here.

Scenario: My sister and I live together in a small condo.

It all started the first Friday of September 2011, my cousin and I were painting my room during the day. By evening, my cousin had to go somewhere, so my sister, her boyfriend and I went to eat dinner. After dinner, it was about 10pm, and my books and things I had to study for were in my sister's room (I thought I could sleep in her room for 1 night because my room still smelled like paint). She told me her boyfriend "was tired" and she told me to go downstairs. When I went downstairs, her boyfriend went up to her room, they closed the door, and they slept. Where did I sleep? On the couch!!! What angers me so much, is that he's a guy, so why don't he sleep on the couch for 1 night!!! He needs to man-up and stay on the couch for 1 night! No girl should be sleeping on the couch!

And I don't care how tired her bf was from work or whatever, but his apartment is just 15 miles away...I just want to tell him to GO HOME!!!
My boyfriend lives 60 miles away, and he visits me Friday nights after his work....and he drives all the way back home!!! Now that's a gentleman.

And ever since that night, 3 times a week, he comes over and sleeps over, in her room, with the door closed. Yes I have a problem with that because if my boyfriend were to sleep over and he slept on my bed with the door closed, my sister wouldnt like that either. I am not jealous of what my sister can do and what not, but because she told me before to keep my door open when my boyfriend was in my room, I obeyed her. So why did she tell me not to do something, when she does it herself. Why???

Even recently, my mom slept over during MLK weekend and after my mom went home, my sister knocks on my room telling me her boyfriend is coming over. Was he waiting around the block until my mom left? She tells me her boyfriend "is coming over," but in reality, he Sleeps over.

He has keys to my sisters place and he pops in and out whenever he likes. I like doing zumba on my Wii, but when he's here, I cannot do that in the living room. Things change when he is around. I cannot be my self.

Lastly, they are planning on getting married this year, my parents like what they see in him. Though if they found out that he has keys to my sisters place and they sleep together before marriage, my parents wouldn't like him either.

And maybe my sister and her bf planned to have this sleeping arrangement before marriage so they know how each other are before tying the knot...but I LIVE HERE TOO and my sister or her boyfriend NEVER asked me if I would be okay with their sleeping arrangement.

I have told my best friend, and all she could say to me was that I am being childish for my actions. AM I BEING CHILDISH? And then I have told my boyfriend my feelings, and he agrees with me, being angry to my sister and her boyfriend.

I think I need to see a therapist or something. Everytime her bf is here, I cannot look him in the face anymore. I know he makes my sister happy and I want her to be happy. But I just hate how things have changed since he has been here. Even if I am starving at 11pm, I refuse to go downstairs and see them, so I munch on snacks in my room. Even if they ask me if I want to have dinner with them, I refuse to go. I turned into a hermit and stay in my room all day and night when he's around. If I'm really hungry, I get food and eat it in my room. I am a nursing student and school is tough, but I just cannot focus anymore. These angry feelings are tearing me down and making me miserable.

I need help... How do I tell my sister my feelings about everything?
CCinder3lli3 CCinder3lli3 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 23, 2012

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Who does your anger harm ?

having someone sleep over 3 nights a week is like having another roommate. that guy should be paying rent or get the **** out.<br />
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if your sister can't see that, she needs a reality check.<br />
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if you own the condo, kick her out. if your parents do, talk to them. if you're renting and both names are on the lease, give her an ultimatum - either get rid of ******* or assume full responsibility for the rest of the lease by virtue of the fact that she's made it unlivable for you and forced you to move out. put it in writing.

I hope you finally had it out with your sister and her ******* loser boyfriend. You clearly needed to.