I don't understand what I did to feel this much pain; how I hurt him or how he could ever do this to me. I loved him and gave him everything a friend could and I know he returned as much as he could. But I guess that I wasn't good enough for him, and I guess I never will be. I thought we had something special; something that I know was the most special friendship I have ever had. I don't know maybe it was if the loss of it has impacted me this deeply. I guess time goes on and I need to let him go and just remember I did him the best I could and it's time to let go. I just need to remember he knows where I am and if he cared half as much and loved me as much as he said he did then he will return no matter what. I just wish I had the opportunity to tell him that there is an open door waiting for him. I just want to hear him tell me once more that I am special and that I am more special than any guy deserves. I guess that is what I miss the most- the way he made me feel special. I just want to feel special again but maybe it just isn’t meant to be.