The Real Me Exposed

I want to be the real me, but the real me is buried under this self conscious image of what the world expects me to be. Hell, I don't even know what my real name is.

For years I hid the real me in my writings, and exposed the real me to those I was closest with. Many have loved me, coming and going throughout the years. Now I am alone, wondering if the real me is seriously flawed to still be alone. Sometimes I would post my thoughts and feelings on facebook, only to get messages from people I know saying "thats best left unsaid".

Growing up, I always thought I would be married and possibly have a child by the time I'm 25. I'm pushing 30 and neither have ever existed in my life. Not that there hasn't been suitors..I call them the three loves of my 20s. All three lasted for at least a year and a half.

The first one I was with 4 years, ultimately neither of us were ready since we were each others first. That and she was overly religious...4 years of no sex. I wish I would have met her later in life, but she got married. The second one was more of a rebound, she was the 180 of girl #1 and was just never a great fit. The third I was head over heels for, seemed too perfect and sadly it was. Ended over financial problems...although the guy she cheated on me with wasn't exactly rich either.

When I first found this site, it was a blessing! Finally I can just let my soul heal and get all of this out.

TheLoneCharles TheLoneCharles
26-30, M
May 12, 2012