I Want to Be Touched
I've been handling my depression fairly well the last few days, but I have those moments where I get lonely for a while. During those times, I want someone to hold my hand, hug me, or even pet me gently. People doing the "friendly shoulder tap" bother the hell out of me. I've never liked that, maybe because it seems extremely impersonal. I long for sensuality.
About the only physical contact I ever receive is an occasional hug or playful poke from my mother, and needless to say, it's not what I'm looking for. I need someone I feel a real eros love with to just show some affection.
At my worst, my lack of touch has sent me to actions bordering dangerously close to self-harm. I would occasionally put a rubber band around the palm of my hand and snap it against me occasionally, just to see if I was still alive. If I didn't feel anything, I knew I was dead, or so my depressed mind thought.
I've never really had any intimate contact. I rarely get hugs, and it's usually from people I don't particularly want them from. I've not held someone's hand since I was a child in grade school, and I've never cuddled with anyone. It doesn't even have to be sexual in nature, I just want to feel alive.
About the only physical contact I ever receive is an occasional hug or playful poke from my mother, and needless to say, it's not what I'm looking for. I need someone I feel a real eros love with to just show some affection.
At my worst, my lack of touch has sent me to actions bordering dangerously close to self-harm. I would occasionally put a rubber band around the palm of my hand and snap it against me occasionally, just to see if I was still alive. If I didn't feel anything, I knew I was dead, or so my depressed mind thought.
I've never really had any intimate contact. I rarely get hugs, and it's usually from people I don't particularly want them from. I've not held someone's hand since I was a child in grade school, and I've never cuddled with anyone. It doesn't even have to be sexual in nature, I just want to feel alive.
By:
Torcularis
Age:
22-25
,
Male
