Hard Affair to Stop!

Starting with this story, I will probably need to go back a few years ago.  I am a married woman, with several children.  I was an extremely happy person, and usually didn't want to create a whole lot of drama.  Well then a couple years ago he moved in next door, and to say the least Drama found me.  Someone I knew my whoole life and the attraction was always there.  It started off with just little statements, words of lust, and ended up into an amazing sexual experience.  An experience I told myself was not going to happen again.  But the first few months it was every other week, and then once a month, once a week, every other day, and then back to "This can not happen anymore."  It just seems that we have addicted ourselves to one another, and it is ruining my life.  The first 6 months he gaved it all to me, kisses,caressing, touching feeling, great sex, and then one night while we were all out he was drinking and made comments of "Love", well hello not with me your not.  Eventually I ignored the comment and went back to my addiction after 7 weeks, (which by the way is the longest we have ever gone with out each other.)  I try my hardest to stay away, but he will approach me and make me feel like he is so into me, that I melt everytime.  He is so hard to understand, sometimes I feel as though he is in love with me but just doesn't want to admit it, and then other times I feel as though I am just a peice of ***.  My husband and I do not match up eye to eye in our sex life,  I have tried for 12 years to show him how I want it, but he always resorts back to his way, which does nothing for me, so the neighbor is a treat.  I know that what I am doing is not right, but how do you stop something when you live right next door, and when you yourself are a sex addict.  At least with him he is married too, and we both have a lot to loose.  And just how convenient it is living side by side.  But then there are days like yesterday for example.  He was here the day prior telling me how he wanted me, and he knew I wanted him,(after we just came to damn close to being caught)  Playing with hot ashes is what he called it.  Well when I made it up to his house yesterday, it was almost as if he didn't give two ***** about me, just screwed me and that was it.  He says things like:  No kissing that is to personal, oh don't do that it's to personal, well what is not personal about having a person's penis up inside you,  Come on please..  I guess me question to you all is this?  does he care, and just doesn't want to, or is he playing me like a little *****,  Please someone help me, I'm so caught up in this that i CAN'T stand it anymore,  I wish he would jusst leave me alone, but when he does then I get pissed.  I'm such a confused mess, and I feel like my friends tell me what they think I want to hear.  I want an honest opinion.