For Once.

For once, I want someone to understand my extreme pain. Not to jump to conclusions, or not treat it as serious. For once, I want someone who knows how much I hurt, and will stop this destructive downward spiral of depression before it hits end. For once, I want someone who truely understands, not someone who partially felt it, and acts like they felt exactly the same. For once, I just want someone who can relate to me, on the same level, not an elevated position. For once, I want someone who knows, not remembers. For once, I want someone to understand.
DGSteele DGSteele
26-30, M
4 Responses May 16, 2012

ME TOO :(

only you know your pain. only you can exactly understand where it stems from. others can help to provide support but can only relate to an extent. but why not try to teach others? of your pain. we all have pain, your pain can be more the others or less but who knows. only you. instead try finding one person that needs your support and help and extend a hand then you will be able to find that there is a silver lining to everything even to depression. i like to believe that if i can help at least one person overcome their troubles that it eases my depression and helps me understand where my true happiness lies. i hope that make sense and helps. :) good luck

i contemplate suicide as well. for me, some days are better than others, but its always in the back of my mind. i would never kill myself, mostly for religious reasons. but that doesn't stop me from hurting myself. no matter what i do the pain is still there. i surround myself with people who are supportive and some of them are understanding, but it doesn't help. I'm fine until they stop talking or have to leave for work and the negative thoughts come back. i don't feel like i have enjoyed anything in years. nothing really makes me happy. the question always comes up "what do you want to do?" and i can't answer it because i don't get any joy from doing anything any more.

I know the feeling

yeah i know what you mean by saying when you try to console to people, they jump to conclusions, cut you off, say they understand when they could not know. <br />
<br />
My pain has changed in the past 3 years, but beginning 3 years ago, I began having some "extreme pains." I do not know exactly what you've been through, but I've been so painful I contemplated suicide and stuff as well. I knew I really didn't wanna stay like that though, so I took all the will-power I had to get myself out of it. Anytime the depression came on, I fought it off, didn't let myself sink into it, even though it hurts to fight it off and not let yourself sink. Now, I am much much happier, even though there is still pains, they are much more subtle, and most often, now I sympathize more for the pains of other people, rather than my own. Those are the pains I have now, crying for the miserable humans of this world.

Thanks. I understand. My problem is, I contorlate suicide even though I know I just cant do it. I cant take my own life. Im trying to get my own happiness, and yes, it works quite often, but the thoughts always come back to haunt me. I help other people deal with theirs, hoping it will ease mine.

sorry. Typo. Meant contemplate

yeah i did that too, I knew I could never kill myself, but there is this sort of emotional appeasement by continuing to think about it at a time when you are incredibly down, and your sort of feeling bad for yourself in a very extreme way. It's really rather normal, even though the actual action is really rather horrible. It's just a stupid way of reacting to extreme sadness and stuff.