Disconnected

I don't feel like I have any friends, I know people from college and talk to people online, but they don't know anything about me, I feel like I can't trust anybody enough to talk about how I feel, I'm always acting up and because of it I did bad in high school and got kicked out of my first college, but I just don't think people will understand, everyone has problems, and everyone's problems seem so much more extreme so they would just brush me aside anyway and it's only get worse. The only time I ever felt like I belonged was when I was with my girlfriend, I didn't tell her about any of my problems because they didn't matter when I was with her, but everything seemed too good, she was amazing and I don't feel like I've got anything to be proud of, and even though that was the case she made me feel like a better person, and I was cheated on, I just lost the will to live, if the only person who makes you feel like you belong, like you're worth something, like you're a good person who deserves to live and makes you feel invincible and happy and just feel like you're complete betrays you, you have nothing, I had nothing, she made me want to live and be happy, then took it all away, and it hurts so much. I had a single friend in high school as well, a friend I spent every day with and it was almost the same then, they help you through life, they make your days better, but they drift away, and you realize that you're alone and you've been alone so long that you're scared to make new friends because it could just happen again. Then you end up where I am now, without friends and without hope.
HADep HADep
18-21, M
Dec 6, 2012