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Like My Friend

Have you had that one friend that looks and feels better than you. I dont know what it is, i have this friend and he is so cocky and it seems to be working out fine for him. He pretty much always has a girlfriend and the previous two girls that he was with, well one still texts him saying she misses him, and the other one also said she misses him, maybe because she just got out of a relationship but still.He can be a dickwad sometimes but apparently that is what girls are attracted to. Me? I'm the nice one, always trying to do nice things for that special girl, trying to make her feel special. I haven't had one of my ex's ever tell me they miss me after we broke up. Apparently I'm doing something wrong. Sometimes i wish i could be like him.
J24P16 J24P16 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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Is that what it means for things to work out? That he always has girls (plural) running after him? I don't think that's what it means for things to work out. I can assure you, I, personally, made the mistake of thinking that guys giving me attention and saying they liked me or that I was pretty meant deeper things... Now they make themselves feel better by making me out to be the jerk who can't take a compliment or is cols or some BS. It's not that, I just know they're gonna turn around and say the same thing to someone else and to me that doesn't matter much... I would encourage you to think a little harder about what would actually make you happy uniquely in your own life and be (or become) the person that attracts that.

*cols=cold

and don't worry, I'm not saying it doesn't **** me off too, but that's a whole other side of the discussion...

Since the time, i've thought a lot about all of this. I know i don't want to be like him. Whether im single or not i should enjoy life, but also i gotta learn from my mistakes. It was my fault my relationship wasn't good even though i didnt want to admit it. I guess within time you realize things. Thanks :)

Thanks for taking the time to find something useful in it, not everybody would or could. :)

Eh, it was my job after all lol

:) That's really great! I'm happy for you. I'm a big believer in reflection. I think that if you take the time to really run all the scenarios in your head and look for the patterns, you can learn almost as much as actually having life experiences. Almost, being the key word there, though. I've done this all my life AND had a great variety of experiences so I tend to think that I'm more knowledgeable than most but certainly not a genius or anything. I think it's great that you value good relationships so much. That trait is becoming harder and harder to find. Even with the pain of breakups, I would never regret the giving of myself at such depth, but I have better refined the levels of appropriateness through my experiences and I don't expect to ever be done. Often we want to but can't really find that specific scenario that's supposed to dictate which decision we make. Those black and white statements will always fall short of what is ultimately realistic or practical. As i said before, it's more in identifying patterns to predict the outcome. Then even when you have figured out the best possible course of action, you can't be responsible for the other 50%. That 50% being what the other person decides to do. It's good to establish the rules that help you make shortcuts and give you more time to relax, but it is wiser and kinder to always remember that there are exceptions to the rule(s).

My apologies if that makes little to no sense, lol. I really tried to make it understandable, but I'm only human too, after all, haha!

Wow, i only understood like half of that maybe because im too tired lol. ill re-read it in the morning . It's fine, i know you've been through more experiences and grown wiser then i am because after all im 18. So feel free to share.

Thank you for understanding. :) I think you have great potential to keep yourself grounded in reality and maintain the balance it takes to get through even the toughest experiences so long as you remember to take it one step at a time. :) I would encourage you to try to remember that last post in a few weeks or months and check back periodically. There's a lot in there. :) Good luck and good skill!

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