If I Lay Here

I really can't stand it. I'm a depressed person stuck in a town of everything from hippies to "normal" people, and I have many people who're sympathetic, but no one really understands what I'm going through except the books in the Library, and they're not much for talking...

I just really want to meet someone who knows what's happening to me. My depression struck at the worst possible point in my life, right when I was in the middle of puberty, I'm a 16-year-old teenager with depression, not only do I have raging hormones because of my whacked-up growing proccess, I have those signals being messed up by a damned chemical imbalance, so now my head's even worse.

I tried talking to my friends, they can only be sympathetic, they told me so, but at least they're honest. I just wish I could talk to someone who either has gone through this before, or is going through this now. I guess that's why this website attracted me so greatly, hope.

SilentCircus SilentCircus
18-21, F
3 Responses Feb 21, 2009

I understand. I nearly committed suicide at exactly your age for the very same reasons, and felt the same way you describe. It was a turning point for me, though, because I found a way out...

hey silent circus. i too suffer from depression. it has plagued my mind on and off since i was sixteen. i can tell you that even if you never shake it entirely, you will find ways of coping the older you get. dont be scared to ask for help. you are not alone. by your message it sounds like you are dealing with a lot of different issues but you also sound like a smart person. you should be proud that you have the skills to express yourself in such an articulate way. i am a twenty five year old guy. i got expelled from drama school at 16 and smoked a lot of pot. to make things worse i realised i was bisexual when i was 21 and i am still coming to terms with it. i have tried to top myself twice and each time i have managed to find ways to get back on track. dont give up hope. best of luck.!

hey silent circus. i too suffer from depression. it has plagued my mind on and off since i was sixteen. i can tell you that even if you never shake it entirely, you will find ways of coping the older you get. dont be scared to ask for help. you are not alone. by your message it sounds like you are dealing with a lot of different issues but you also sound like a smart person. you should be proud that you have the skills to express yourself in such an articulate way. i am a twenty five year old guy. i got expelled from drama school at 16 and smoked a lot of pot. to make things worse i realised i was bisexual when i was 21 and i am still coming to terms with it. i have tried to top myself twice and each time i have managed to find ways to get back on track. dont give up hope. best of luck.!