Oh, I've Tried.

I've tried countless times to be understood, but it never works out. Every single time I find someone, and become good enough friends with them to have a deep and meaningful conversation, it ends up completely backfiring on me. I'll say something, try to slowly ease into some topic I'm absolutely DYING to tell someone (and believe you me, I have more than enough), and I always get the same reactions. They misunderstand what I'm trying to say and end up pulling the conversation in another direction, or I just get the typical "I'm Sorry" or "Everything will be okay in the end."

I know those people mean well, but hearing those same things over and over eventually stops making any difference. In fact, now it starts to hurt whenever I hear that. I appreciate that you're sorry, but unless you actually understand what I'm talking about, then I don't think you really can be; I'm sure everything will be okay, but I want to know when? I need things to be okay NOW.

Then, on very rare occasions, I actually come full out and say what I'm trying to say, and I don't think anyone has ever understood what I meant. For years, I thought it was my fault because I wasn't explaining it well, then I thought I must just be talking to the wrong people, in the wrong town, at the wrong time... now I hardly even bother with it it anymore.

I have friends I've had for years that don't even know who I am. It sounds so cliche, so pathetic, but none of them understand what I'm going through. To top it all off, most of my friends have major problems of their own, and compared to them, mine just seem shallow. Probably because they are, and I know that, but that doesn't stop me from wanting someone to understand everything. And I know if I ever got up the courage to actually tell these people what I want to say, everything would change. Our friendship wouldn't be the same way. I know, because I've seen it happen with other friends of ours.

I feel like an egg. Everyone can see the outside, the shell, and I appear to be just like every other egg. I'm just an ordinary egg. So no one takes the time to crack me open, because they assume what's already inside is just the same as any other egg.

If someone would just give me the time, the patience, the energy, the love, to understand who I am, they would see I'm not just an ordinary egg. I'm not what I appear to be. There are so many aspects of me that I am constantly craving to find someone to share them with, so many aspects that not even my friends and family know (not they want to; not that I want them to), so many aspects that I'm sure would change someone's entire view of me.

Which is the precise reason I can't tell anyone I already know. There has to be somebody else out there. Someone that it's possible for me to connect with on that deep level of understanding. Someone that will understand why I am the way that I am, why seemingly unimportant things can make me burst into tears, what's going through my head...

But trying to find this one person is like trying to find a needle in a haystack.

omgitsEMILY omgitsEMILY
18-21, F
6 Responses Feb 18, 2010

If someone would just give me the time, the patience, the energy, the love, to understand who I am, they would see I'm not just an ordinary egg. I'm not what I appear to be. There are so many aspects of me that I am constantly craving to find someone to share them with, so many aspects that not even my friends and family know..... OMG I feel your pain.. I am so misunderstood and it's like no one even cares to try to understand me (except my husband) It is very frustrating. Well if you ever want to talk to someone i will try my best to be that person that understands you.....

well cant say i know exactly how you feel just know what it is like to feel misunderstood mainly because in this day and age everyone is stuck inside their own minds. Like you feel you problems may be shallow honestly everyone feels pain, love, hope differently. So for you it can hurt or consume you just as much as someone else going through something you think is more. Also with the fact ofpeople being in their own minds means alot of times its not that they dont know what to say people are to scared to just be honest yes saying sry is ok and they mean it but why not further on those words. Dont say i understand say what your understanding and why. And how will they know if everything will be ok only time has that answer and the actions you take to get there.

100%

Thanks. It really means a lot :)

I no exactly how u feel!nobody seems to understand me or want to listen to my problems.<br />
And I think its worse keeping everything bottled up cause some times I feel like I'm about to explode!<br />
Don't feel like your problems aren't as important as everyone elses cause they are.it can make u feel down when you <br />
Have no-one that understands u.if u need to have a chat or are feeling low,feel free to message<br />
Me.I'm in the same situation.<br />
Keep ur head up :)

I no exactly how u feel!nobody seems to understand me or want to listen to my problems.<br />
And I think its worse keeping everything bottled up cause some times I feel like I'm about to explode!<br />
Don't feel like your problems aren't as important as everyone elses cause they are.it can make u feel down when you <br />
Have no-one that understands u.if u need to have a chat or are feeling low,feel free to message<br />
Me.I'm in the same situation.<br />
Keep ur head up :)