I Need To Change, I Want To Be A Stronger, Successful& A Powerful Woman.

I still live with my mom and im now 20 .. I have no job but i am looking for one .. Its hard to get a job out here in SF with no diploma and no experience. Im spoiled and loved by my mom and dad.. but they understand me when i say i dont want to be loved in that way.. I know it grew on me to be dependent.. and I have been trying to be more dependent on myself .. to at least be somewhere.. but this is where im stuck.. Ive been struggling with paranoia and anxiety issues.
Its never been solved or concentrated on because I just now realized what i have been doing. and its disgusting.. I dont like where i am now.. Im dragging everyone down because of my foolish issues, and it drags me even more down to see what im causing.. and its frustrating to fix.. Im losing my relationship of 4 years because of it.. and I cant even be a woman to him.. Im just called a girl. and i think he is right.
I just need motivation, Strength, a strong mentality, and also Guidance.
I want to change ... i want to think differently.. to become a woman who is dependent of no other BUT herself.
I want to have a life on my own.. just without my issues dragging me down..
I just want to be happy
StayStrongGirl92 StayStrongGirl92
18-21, F
2 Responses Jan 10, 2013

Reading this , It now has been 3 years since this message. You can guess my age now, I have had 4 jobs this 2014 to 2015. I pushed myself into getting my first job, and stuck with them for 3 years and in that thrd year i pushed myself to be responsible for a 2nd job. then Breaking up with that horrible sleaze of an Ex. Yes I broke up with him and so proud. I later had a 3rd job. and then back to two jobs.
Stumbling across this was like a reminder to myself. where i started. I am a strong independent woman with fire. I am so proud of myself for pushing and believing in myself. Its truly amazing

This is a process. You become strong by doing the thing strong people do. A strong woman might say "I have no job, no diploma, nowhere to live. Still, I am capble, intelligent and physically healthy." Why not consider visiting the military recruiting offices. There may be some in the Bay Area, somewhere. There may be a feeling against the idea because you are in SF. However, the military will test you for your aptitude, then train you for the appropriate job, then assign you to a place to work and provide housing. You can get yourself established, earn money for college, and developt he core characteristics of a strong woman.

This is a consideration. I am just a little afraid of what I may or may not pass in the military test. I know i lack some things. But i do know for one i do have a willingness to finish something.