Ah, Ha, Ha ....

My obsession with the internet really started about 2 years ago I think, when I received my first laptop, in the summer, I used it day and night, until it broke. So my obsession went down, and didnt care for one, until near my birthday, when I asked for one, and received it. I used it a lot, but again, let it go. Then came summer of last year, summer of 2012, I used it far more then I ever hoped for, and with that it grew, more and more, to the point where I would start my homework and end up on my laptop, it has grown far more then I have ever thought it would. Due to this, it has gone more then just using my laptop about all the hours I was out of school for 7 days a week, it grew to me closing my doors, more like locking it and growing attitude and ehem, if your gonna judge me or call me crazy after this, just stop reading, if not, keep going, anyhoo, I would talk to myself, but not like a conversation with myself more like if watching a movie in my room I would comment " wow, what a studpid girl " then say " what if im the stupid girl " and laugh .... ahaha, anyway, and became very negative in life, not being as positive in it and loving my privacy. My parent's have always known me for having a bit of attitude, not anything too extreme, or disrespectful, just a little bit of attitude, but me being a teen, we get mood swings, so I did talk back sometimes and raised my voice, but felt guilty as hell later on. Next the privacy, as a child I never did mind changing clothes in front of anyone really, but as I started developing and all, and it got awkwward and bras came along I started liking my own privacy. Before I would change in front of my mother, father, grandmother, and grandfather but now? Only myself. Hence why my grandmother thinks I need a phycologist, but yeah, I mean I could be in my underwear and tshirt in front of my parents but not grandparents, also I guess I liked my door closed for my privacy as well, being alone, in peace, from my little brother. Then, talking to myself. It is a proven fact that it makes you more important and means you are highly intelligent, but I dont like labels. But yeah, I would watch a show and say " I love the dress shes wearing! " then " I wonder where I can buy it? " lastly " Ooooh, I have to find it! ", or I would sing but that is completely natural. Lastly, the seeing the world for the * I do not curse, but ... * fubar way it really is, fubar meaning ****** up beyond all recongnition. As a child I never saw the world as others my age did, as a big happy cloud, I saw it as it really was, horrible. But I mean, after really getting into tumblr * a blog type of thing * I realized that the world is hell, we say hell is under us but we are hell, there are bad people everywhere, okay not everywhere but yeah, and there are wars and hate, its wosre then it seems. Now the part where my grandmother wants me to go to a phycologist. She believes that I should be able to change infront of her, not use my laptop as much and to be a mini her. My parent's, mostly my mother has threatened to remove my door, due to it always being close, so intead of having it always closed, I leave it at least a little open. Honestly this is a obsession, that with the way my genration is going, isnt going to get better.
Thelittleblogger Thelittleblogger
13-15, F
Jan 5, 2013