I Need to Know

I need to really find my spiritual side because I lost it quite a few years ago and now I want it back, I know I had one but it left me because I wasnt being true to my soul.   I dont know if I can ever get it back, and if I dont, then that means I have to live without the guidence that takes care of my soul forvever.   I remember a few years ago, I thought I was on the ball, what I was really doing was making out to my self that I didnt need a force in or around me to go where I was heading, I thought all my beliefs that I had were just a ploy to make out to my self that I was safe and secure because I had my angels around me, but somehow I disrespected my beliefs and now their all gone.   I want to know if I can ever feel the higher force again, or has it really had enough of my make believe goals and left me to it, I am going to do some soul searching over the next few months while I am detoxing from my drug problem, Only thrn will I be able to answer my question,  was the guidence really there, and did I really make it leave.
rosygal rosygal
46-50, F
7 Responses Jul 27, 2007

I think you are so right siddler because when I read your comment, I read it with tranquility, meaning that what ever it is you believe in, you are passing it through with your words, I believe that if something makes you feel good, why knock it. x

I liked David's comments other than the one that says meditation is crap. It is a great tool for increasing the awareness that he talks about. I lost a powerful spirituality that I had when I was younger but I'm regaining it slowly by opening myself to other ways of thinking and experiencing life. Getting myself away from the mental traps that I've set for myself as an adult. Such that it is difficult for me to have such a strong faith as I had before. I think meditation is one of the most powerful tools for regaining a spiritual sense in your life. It is a chance to be with yourself in silence, sitting in the world, observing yourself and your thoughts only.

You have a beauty when you write your words, you seem to make things clear for people like me with a jumbled mind, Thank you

You're embarassed that you haven't yet managed to complete what is perhaps the most difficult task any of us can possibly face?! Don't be!<br />
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For one thing I don't think there is an end to the goal of knowing oneself. If tomorrow you said, 'ok, I know who I am and this is definitely me' then you would instantly become an unpleasant person. Why? Because change is the great beauty of the universe, and if you form a model of yourself and you never change, you fall behind in the continuing growth of all there is.<br />
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That's why a statue, now matter how well carved, will always be less beautiful than a tree.<br />
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So... er... I think I strayed off course a bit there! I think the best we should hope for is a pleasant familiarity with ourselves - to know yourself as well as a really special friend, and more importantly to cherish yourself as such too. :o)

Thank you so much for your words, I am going to try that excersise and will let you know how I got on, also I dont feel as bad as I did now I have read your comment, thank you, and yes , you are so right, I need to find my self and I am really working on this one but its so hard, I am forty six now, surly by now I should know my self, Its quite embarresing really.

Hi there,<br />
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You made a few references where you said "...my soul..." and I thought to make a suggestion to you... you make it sound like your soul is something you can store in your pocket. My point is; you don't actually -have- a soul at all...<br />
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You -are- a soul!<br />
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As for being more spiritual, I don't think you need to worry too much. We are all sometimes a little dishonest with ourselves and our beliefs, but it really doesn't matter. Your heart holds your truth, and your spiritual side is never, ever more than a thought away.<br />
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There's an exercise I use which you might find helpful. You hear a lot of spiritual nonsense going on and on about meditating and seeing a brilliant white light of pure love and, frankly... that's pure crap!<br />
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Finding your soul - your true self, is not about relaxing. Your normal mind is generally so relaxed that this is why you feel distant from your real nature as a soul. The exercise I use is basically about raising your awareness, and after a few moments can have a dramatic effect. Basically, sit wherever you are right now and look around you. Spot an ob<x>ject, a specific thing seperate from the other things in the room, and thoroughly notice it. A moment ago you were unaware of that ob<x>ject, right? Now move to another ob<x>ject and repeat, and again, and again, until you have taken in and noticed the entire room. You should very quickly begin to feel a lot more 'in-the-moment' and alive.<br />
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If it works for you, experiment with it further. You can apply the same process to your own body, and even to your thoughts and memories.<br />
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The first step to truly finding yourself, is noticing you are there. Best of luck :)

same here.