Hi everyone - I am 32, he is 51. We've been involved in an affair for 4 years now, and that's what brings me here.

My birthday - which is also his wedding anniversary - is next week, and I am tired of dealing with the pain of this relationship.

We have broken it off countless times over the past few years - all initiated by me. I have blocked him by phone, by IM, and I send his emails to my trash folder. Unfortunately, I am unable to sustain my anger about the situation for very long. So, when I see his emails in the trash, I read them. Then I feel awful for ignoring him, and the merry-go-round continues. Hope always springs eternal for me. I figure he can't still be reaching out if he hasn't changed or figured out his life, knowing the terrible emotions it causes me (and both of us). So, we'll spend time together as friends, until I start to feel I'm nothing more than a tool to help him stay in a cold marriage, and then we slide downhill again.

The longest we've been "no contact" is 8 days. He continued to email in that time, and I ignored until I caved.

We get along fabulously, and feelings run insanely deep. I am sure this is why it's so hard for both of us. We are both aware of how wrong it is.

I am doing my best to get strong and break it off completely. But at what point does his staying married become the wrong thing to do??!!

He says he's been in a sexless marriage for 10 years. He told his wife he wishes to pursue opportunities outside their marriage, and she doesn't seem to care. She travels off to see friends, leaving him at home for weeks at a time. He has requested they go to marital counseling, but she refuses. They have 3 children in their late teens.

After all this, he still says he "can't give me a timeline" about when he'll sh*t or get off the pot. And yet he continues to contact me.

Has anyone else been in this situation?? How did you get out of it? I feel as if I am losing my mind! And precious life is passing me by.

kd0910 kd0910
36-40, F
1 Response Sep 1, 2014

I knew it was you all this time stealing him from me. Looks like my spell works.