Living With An Ex Boyfriend....

I've been with this guy for 6 years,...the longest relationship of my life...went through an awful lot with him and because of him...post trauma depression following a termination of pregnancy,his terrible mood swings,verbal abuse ,his depression and suicidal attempts...to name a few...

In March we decided to rent a beautiful flat together,after sharing a room for 2 1/2 years...but things didn't quite work the way we wanted but instead of talking to me about splitting up,he told his family and friends and kept treating me more or less in the usual way...apart from no sex for over a month...going out on his own for 5-6 days at week for the last 2 months and going to bed at 9 pm(on his own) everytime I was around...and refusing to give me any explanation about it...For our 6th anniversary in June he wrote a card professing his love for me and telling me that the last 6 years together have been fantastic and hoping the next 6 ones will be even better...presents and everything else,annyversary sex and the day after he tells me that we should split up...I agree because of the way things had been for the last 2-3 months but after things go a bit sour...he tells me that he has no doubts about me,he trusts me with his life but "with my financial position,we could not afford the life that he intends to live"

Now...life in the flat is horrific..we are moving out in September...I do not intend to see him ever again after we move out and doing my best to avoid any interaction...but what he does?...he turns friendly and when I say that I'd rather not talk to him...he gets aggressive,throws my stuff around and shouts at me...he tells me I'm nasty,negative and a *****...aside from telling me that I'm upset because he dumped me...even though he knows that we dumped each other...
sgrinfia sgrinfia
31-35, F
1 Response Jul 23, 2010

You can carry on with the *** for tat or just get out while the going is good. Believe me I had these ups and downs, negatives and postives, he loves me he loves me not for 12 years. It is called mind games and it is not a healthy way to live because there is no resolution. I spent two years in the bedroom while my partner lounged about in the rest of the house. He was abusive and unkind and I was just as bad as him in the end. If your partner cannot be true to you about the way he is feeling now, (whatever way that is) and consistent then he never will be. <br />
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If you still love him and want him then be open and honest, if he cannot give you a reasonable explanation for his behaviour then tell him it is all over and goodbye. Some people will never stop playing games, but it takes at least two to play a game - remember that. It could go on for years and years if you let it. <br />
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He sounds like he wants his freedom but wants you as well in the background - probably being his serogate mummy. <br />
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Good Luck.