I Wish I Knew How Or When

When I met my boyfriend, we were good friends. I was in mourning and he was the only person I wanted to see or be around at the time. Now, I just want to get a away from him! I probably shouldn't have moved in after a few months of dating. I admit, that was stupid. I just felt so lonely and depressed...I needed him to fill that void.
He had a dead end job and not making much money, sitting around waiting for a raise, with no benefits at 33 years old. He said he was working on getting a better job and fixing his dead end life. I gave him the benefit of doubt and decided to wait it out. Maybe he would get it together soon.

Here it is two years later. He's still working long hours for pennies. We now live with his mom, aunt, and a host of other relatives, and random people. I'm sick of it all. I haven't been getting rest and it's taking a toll on my health. I am angry and exhausted all day everyday. I stay for him but I would like for us to move somewhere...anywhere else. We can't do that if he has to always borrow money from me and his family members. I try talking to him and when I ask him what he is doing with his life, he gets very angry and starts a huge argument. He says I am trying to down him....blah blah blah. Nobody wants to be in a relationship with a bum. My mom even offered to help him find a job and she found one. All he had to do was go in for an interview and he was hired. It was equivalent to job he has now with better hours, benefits, and more money. He didn't even attempt to check out the job. He claims to be filling out applications on line and I haven't seen him fill out any applications for two years. He sleeps until 4PM everyday and gets angry because I tell him he shouldn't sleep over half an entire day. That has got to be unhealthy. It seems like he is set in his ways and is not trying to do anything with his life and he has no excuse. He's the one who is always complaining he needs more money and hours. Not me. I am tired of being insulted and argued with for trying to help him get his life together. I would rather be by myself.

Shonda Shonda 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 8, 2013

Your Response


Run, baby, RUN!

So Shonda... you get to write the chapter that's you're currently living. And the next chapter too!

Have you figured out an exit plan? Have you moved out? What are you doing to look after Shonda?

Just curious.


Hi. Since that story, I've had another long talk with him about his future. I let him know I can't sit around and wait for him to get his life together. He begged me to stay and promised he would get it together. I said I would give him until July....and he's still in the same position. July is not even here yet, but I still don't see him doing anything. I am leaving him and moving into my new house in two weeks. I told him I am leaving but I don't think he believes me.

all the best for your plans.. and your future! Write that next chapter of your life!

Be glad he is only a boyfriend. You are not tied to him. Breakaway and leave him now. Take care of yourself and your future.