Waiting For My Life To Start Over Again

Seven years ago I moved away from my home town leaving behind my job, my family, my friends and my life to marry a man who was loving, affectionate and willing to offer me the partnership I had always longed for. When I moved I found a job that paid half of my old salary, but I took it because it was in my field of work (social work).  My fiance and I bought a beautiful home and got married.  Since then I have become disabled and now I spend my time alone in my home.  I have lost all of my friends from my old home town.  I have tried everything I can try to make new friends and fit into my new home town but I never seem to fit in here.  I have joined every club and activity that I can but I never seem to connect with anyone.  My husband has also changed drastically since we married.  He is no longer affectionate.  In fact it has been about 2 years since we made love.  He spends all of his waking hours on his computer, watching sports and never wants to spend any time together.  We are always tight for cash because my disability is less then 1/2 of what my meager salary was so our bills take up all of our income.  I just feel that between coping with my cronic illnesses and my lack of friends as well as the loss of intimacy with my spouse I don't have much to stay positive about.  I have two grown daughters who call me and try to offer me positive support but I don't want to make them feel guilty for my lonelyness.  I see a therapist weekly but there just never seems to be an answer to my problems.  Nothing can make my husband want to spend time with me or people to befriend me.  I joined this web site in the hopes that I could possibly make some cyber friends.  I appreciate the opportunity to at least vent my problems.

Thank you for giving me the freedom to speak my mind.
LoveHopePeace LoveHopePeace
51-55, F
2 Responses Nov 28, 2012

Hang in there :) and you deserve better, that husband of yours is a real creep!

<p>Although our situations are different it sounds like we still have a lot in common. This story really moved me. After turning fifty last year I said this is the begining of the second half of my life So far is isnt a good second half. Seems I lost most things that meant the most to me. Maybe the second half of our life is suppose to be about us only and God took those other things away so we can consentrate on ourselves. I would love to travel but my income too has changed Ive been unemployed since April and Im stuck at home lonely and sad...</P>