I Want To Cheat On My Husband, But...

We have been together for 8 years. I feel like we just don't have sex very often, and when we do it just doesn't have the spark it used to. (Very long story) So I called up an ex-boyfriend....

He (the ex) is still very much in love with me. Oh my God! he is charming and sweet and is coming cross country to meet up with me just to talk, no strings. He says he'll wait as long as it takes for me to be ready.

So back home, I feel like my husband is no longer attracted to me. I know he's not cheating. I know he loves me like he loves himself. And yet, I cannot stop thinking about this other guy.

The other guy is in my dreams. He haunts my thoughts. I have even tried to cut him off twice in the last year, but to no avail. He just shows up in my dreams three weeks later and kisses me and says he misses me. Then I call him. And he says, "I never thought I would hear from you again! How are you?"

Then we meet. He lives in California, I live in Massachusetts but I travel for work. He flies in to meet with me when I'm working. We have dinner, exchange glances. But we haven't kissed in reality for ten years.

What can I do? I have tried to rid myself of the other guy, but he won't leave my thoughts. I have tried to fix my relationship with my husband but he still ignores me for the most part. I am unhappy with my sex life at home, but I feel too committed to sleep around. I have never cheated on my husband and some days I want to and others I really don't.

Help me sort this out.
tiedye77 tiedye77
31-35, F
3 Responses Jul 2, 2010

my wife has a boy friend it makes her love me more and more, trust me it will make your relationship better and better as long as your boy friend does not want to take you away from your husband.

Hi i am going through exactly what you are. This is so strange!. Only in my sitch the guy i have not ever met, but i can't shake him. I have known him about a year, and he does live far away. I Have been with my boyfriend for 10 years. I know he loves me and i him, but i can't get rid of this guy out of my head. It is like i am under a spell or something. He wanted to fly here to see me about 6 mos ago or something but i backed out. I am so scared of loosing my boyfriend..I can't live without him, but these feelings i am having are so confusing. I don't know how to sort this out either but in a way it helps that someone else in the world has a similar dilemma to mine. If you need to talk send me a message or something, maybe we can help each other through this. I don't know.

Hello,<br />
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I am on the other group site and read that story as well. I think if you are not getting what you need from your relationship but your husband is getting everything he needs from you there is no reason you could not satisfy your other needs with this man. Affairs are not for everyone. I would not have one myself but I have already told my wife that if she wated another man to go ahead and have him. I would not want her to deny herself pleasure. As long as she came home to me I am fine with it and i would not ask to have one in turn because I know my wife would not be able to handle it if I slept with another woman. We only live once and if you think this other man can make you feel good again then i say have fun but be very careful. I know you would not want to hurt your husband. I hope this helps take care.