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Everyday

Everyday I think about committing suicide I was raised with the idea if you're a good person loyal honest and nice set of ventually you will find someone who loves you but these are false pretenses. This world has changed there is no place for a guy like me anymore. I have to ask why even try to be a decent person any more? Although I don't have the ability to change my personality I do have the ability to commit suicide and everyday I think about it. I do think it will eventually happen I just don't know when.
TheRascallyOne TheRascallyOne 22-25, M 23 Responses Feb 24, 2012

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You are still alive, or perhaps you are the great grandson of the first rabbit, and each generation takes the place of the last

Holly carp you figured it out 🐰

Pesky, horny, rabbits

It's been almost a year. I hope you are in a better place. :)

I am thank you 😊

Please don't do that. Don't give up! Be strong and keep surviving. No matter how difficult, never give up! Turn to God and He will help you. He loves you and will help you. He can show you your purpose and bring happiness to you

Thank you :)

You're very welcome, God bless you!

Even though you wrote this story almost a year ago, I do know what it's like to drag yourself through each and every day. It's very tiring to say the least... BUT we can't loose this battle =) Even if it's just because decency is becoming a rarity nowadays.

It is rare but I would rather be alone and be myself and a good person than something I'm not

I agree =)

Hi, I was brought up believing that I had to be perfect at everything to have some value as a person, till this day I struggle not to believe that lie but it is hard because this world is so competetive and only those that are physically attractive, earn a lot of money, have many titles or are very popular seem to get everything they want... and it seems really unfair. I know that your pain is real and it is more than what you can handle right now and there's nothing wrong about feeling that way. I admire you because you are talking about it, so I know that you wish you could be "brave" enough to terminate your life already but you cannot because maybe deep inside you know there has to be another way... and there is. This world tells us that WE have to be the best, that WE have to keep trying, that WE have to be strong... but WE are not God, and our strengths will vanish because we need HIM to live. We need our Loving God to comfort us, to love us unconditionally... we need Him to be strong for us. And He is more than willing to do so, He just wants you to let Him heal your heart and show you the Love only He can give.

being raised as a good person predisposes u to be suicidal in certain societies, what u need to do is make it your job to find the few good people in this world, i don't know your situation and it may take longer for u than for most, but in the end it will be so worth it!

No don`t!

I believe you are 100% right, the world has changed in the ways you describe.Decadence is the norm in our world now.But since the vast majority of our splendid race has chosen such a lifestyle we really don't have a say in this (by "we" i mean all of us that understand what you are talking about and not just pretending to offer advice from their "higher moral/spiritual/ ground"). So we all just have to deal with those facts and keep on going. There are hundreds of feelings and experiences waiting for you.Don't give up just because you "may" not find a particular one.

:( ...That's just an answer to a temporary problem... Put your hand on your heart. Feel that? That’s called purpose. You’re alive for a reason. Don’t give up... ♥

Hey you, I just wanted to say im feeling what you are saying. I am a suicide survivor. 3 months ago i injected my veins with a veterinary tranquiliser , wanting to die and woke up 10 hours later in the hospital. I was moved to a psychiatric unit after that, but i got out and did some hypno therapy for 2 weeks. I walked away from that experience a new person. I can tell you dieing was the best thing that ever happened to me. when i woke up in that hospital bed, i thought i woke up in hell, but life since that day has suddenly unravelled itself. Like i killed the part of me that needed to die and woke up a new person. It was a long journey and it is true. the power to end ones own life is ours, and thinking about it everyday is okay and perfectly normal. We all wonder whats the point, but you what changed me?. I ASK YOU, without problems and people around you, would u still want to die? or r u trying to escape from the world around you? Talk to me. i found a way out, better than ever. No bullshit like rehab or stuff, just plain simple life and how to deal with it everyday. Im on my way to doing a masters now, 3 months later. i never took any theraputic drugs. i healed myself. its possible

They are not false pretenses, but you are missing an important point. That is to like yourself and have a good self esteem. That is essential for any relationship with someone else to work. Without loving yourself, it is impossible for someone else to love you. Its really very simple.

I have lost everything my freedom my eyesight my dignity my family my belongings my gender and all self esteem and libido and any urge to go forward. I practice the moves everyday to do it . It now is not if but when for me. A million dollars would not stop it a therapist would make it happen forget hope there is none for me I have helped sell off my moms belongings when I was her caregiver and now instead of possible jail will end all soon. I never ever learned to say no> I was born with a heart that always said help and never say no well now I am saying no to this life I have lived long enough and seen everything for that door that I thought was opening for me a new life is a gateway to hell and misery. Sorry to those who believed in me and thought of all people I could make it. The weight is too hard and I am buckling and will topple like the towers. Mortally wounded I was a good decent person still but I have a weakness , I should have left well enough alone. I have never been sorrier and more miserable in my life and deserves all gods wrath anywhere in eternity for what i have done. I do wish those who decide to do what I did like gender stop and think first.

I have seen a lot of nice people get to go through stuff they don't deserve. Please don't give up. Don't loose hope. I remember when I thought hope was just a word a meaningless word. I lost hope at one point and it is hard to regain it once you have lost it. It seems like life will suck for ever. But, trust me it won't. There are billions of people in the world and one of them are bound to love you. You just have to keep on trying and trying. No matter how many times you may fall down you just have to get back up and try agian. No matter how bad things may get you can always turn things around. Please just keep on trying and never give up!

You are very young to stop believing, in yourself and the world. I know life is hard but you have time to figure it out god willing.

I see what you mean. It sucks being raised to be a good person. You are kind to people, courteous, loving. Then you see what the world is really like. The way I was raised was 'you do good things and you'll get to a good place' (it was heaven okay). In this world it seems like it's the opposite. You have to do bad things to get to a good place many times. When you're a bad person who's been raised as a bad person (replace the word bad with selfish if you're sensitive about it) you don't have such a hard time screwing people over to gain monetary (among other) advantages. When you're a good person you just feel plain bad all the time and you're less successful at it because you don't have that 'poker face full of lies and deception' that most successful (and normal) people have. You weren't taught to lie, cheat and steal from birth and so you're not good at it. Being at such a disadvantage, can be a little hard to take. Look, you're going to do what you're going to do, nobody can change this. Just try to keep your integrity okay? It's not worth it to let the world change you into a monster like it is. All the best.

thank you for your kind words I really do appreciate it.

I was raised like a pitbull, by my mother and father. I was raised to fight. Since i was little i learned kindness is the key, empathy is my law, and understanding my motto, but cross me and i will rain down on you teeth blarring. I forgive and understand but abuse is not tolerated on me or anyone else around me. Believe you are stronger and dont bother what others say. it took me years and im still fighting over becoming my true self, the world is not a monster, its only the world, sometimes you have the upper hand, sometimes you don't, but as long as you do the right thing ALL THE TIME, you be alright. its gods way of testing you. trust me , evil does not pay

My friend; Andrew;<br />
<br />
I can't say that there is much hope, really. I don't know. Of course, there is, though. There are so many possibilities open to us.<br />
<br />
What kind of a world would you enjoy living in? What kind of a girl would you like to be with?<br />
<br />
I know that most people... they are stupid, immoral, etc. ... however, not everyone. ^^<br />
<br />
You know, there is an amazing amount of difference between the people of one culture and the next. I just ... well, my entire life and confidence in myself just disintegrated, but it was mostly because of the culture in which I lived. I have lived in a few different places, and I moved away, and I'm at least doing better now, although still pretty bad. I still have major problems. I too am looking for an answer.<br />
<br />
Maybe the answer is justice; Rectification of unfairness.<br />
<br />
Perfect justice would simply be education.<br />
<br />
Feel free to share any thoughts,<br />
<br />
I wish you all the best,<br />
<br />
You seem like a good person to me,<br />
<br />
^_^<br />
<br />
Bueno Suerte.

thank you for your kind words

hey, i know your probably thinking this is just another comment ...but honestly ... ive thought about the same thing (suicide).. I'm not the type to show off but.. i am a very pretty Hispanic girl, slim body, brown eyes and long hair.. smiling outside, but inside i feel hurt.. i still try to look past that because life is too short... seriously, i could find a hot guy for what ever reason but i refuse to do that because.. i need to fill in the gap inside my soul... finding a man isn't going to feed anything except my flesh ...and believe me your probably going to still feel like you want to kill yourself.. one guy commented to you about joining the army or navy.. go for it!! don't think about it too much... that will be something that will make you feel a lot of success and grateful for your accomplishment.. life is full of opportunity.. don't miss out by looking at your outside persona.. gosh! i don't even know you but i bet your worth so much.. god bless ya!!

I understand how you feel. I feel the same way. I too feel like a girl like me cannot live in this world. When I say a girl like me I mean a thinker. Not that other girls aren't thinkers but I overanaylize EVERYTHING. I hate the way my life has turned out so far. I have not acomplished what I set out to accomplish. It seems the majority of people I know and grew up with can get it together, or at least have a contingency plan; however, I never have. I take medication, I go to group therepy, I go to a cousoler, but STILL feel dead inside. I feel like I have exhausted every possible means of mental help. I have attempted suicide about 6-7 times, but never obviously did it correctly. I hope that you do not read my words and decide this is right for you, as I am not trying to encourage you, but I understand how you feel. I am 24 and plan to commit suicide by 27. I feel like it will be the only way for my mind to be at peace. The only way for my family to be at peace. The world is a horrible place. I can't live in it much longer either.

There are more things to life than finding that 'someone special.' Finding those other reasons are what makes you the happy person that draws others to you, including someone special. Everyone's suggestions are good and I'm sure offered with the best intention to help you, but ultimately sometimes it's just about body chemistry. I was shocked at how the right meds made a dramatic change in my outlook on life - they enabled me to be able to take the suggestions others have made above. It would suck to throw away more of your life just because your body chemistry is off balance. Especially when it's very likely you can find some happiness. Keep working with the professionals and be honest with them about where you're at! And if you doubt that anyone cares, just look at how many people have commented above!

thank you so much :')

I truly wish for your sake that you could talk with a good counselor. You've got your whole life ahead of you and shouldn't be talking of death. Try and find one unique or special thing each day to bring some joy into your life -- whether it's seeing a fresh flower blossoming outside with the coming spring season or hearing a bird singing in the morning. Love comes when we least expect it. <br />
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My daughter is 22 and will be graduating form college in a few months she has big plans that I want her to see realized in her future. There is a place for all of us in this world.

I am seeing a counselor. Thank you for your kind words it's much appreciated.

Not sure if your joking or not. Either way, if you don't where your at just move man. It's as easy as that. Go see the world, join the military, do something you've never done. Experience LIFE man. **** there's over 5 billion in this world, I would imagine that the odds are in your favor. Go be uncomfortable in a new situation, get out of your element. You meet people on this website, no go do the same in real life, interact. LIVE.

No It will not happen because you are going to find a great girl someday.

I don't think so I think by the end of 2013 I'll be dead

no :'( please dont