I Give Nothing

i tried. so hard. i went to law school, i spent so much money. i wanted to give back to the community. but now i can't repay it and no one will hire me. i used to be the most cheerful person, told my smile was infections. now i cry everyday because i'm 26 with no career, no home, and i'm starting to realize i might be waiting around for a guy who will never marry me. so where does that leave me? everytime i am reminded of something happening to a friend, my pain increases tenfold because i am reminded of my own failures. i think that if i end it, my pain would end. maybe those who love me would hurt too, but their pain is not what mine is. mine won't end. theirs will end. but i also know i have to do it right because if i mess up and end up in care, i don't have insurance and this would become just another burden to show how pathetic my life is. i'm not sure i can be talked out of this, but i wanted to share with people who i know relate.
arutte arutte
26-30, F
May 19, 2012