Any Way To Avoid The Inevitable?

Maybe this belongs in a group called "i don't want to commit suicide" (is there such a community?). Its not something I want to commit to - its something I'd like to avoid - but like many people in this situation it seems one of the few options open to me.

My children being left without a father sometimes doesn't seem so bad if I think i might be able to pull it off in a way that leaves them with a good life insurance payment and with a good reputation in the religious community we are part of (which has no veneration for the suicidal, but more sympathy for that than all my other faults that may yet come out soon).

I figured that if anything every got this bad I'd just disappear, as in running away. If I had money enough to support my family for a while, til my wife remarried, that scenario might be possible, but abandoning them without their their home and basic needs being secure would leave me suicidal anyway.
williamroberts williamroberts
36-40, M
1 Response Sep 10, 2012

I go through all the same thoughts. I am a dad in a religious community. Have wanted to end my life for a long time but haven't because of the kids.