Why Stay Alive?

I am alone and I have nothing - no job, no money, no family, no friends. Right now I'm only alive because nature forces my body to go on. My life has been one huge disappointment and horrible story after another but I don't even care anymore, it's my lack of a future that makes things unbearable. I have no prospects for a better life. No one values me and I no longer value myself because I can't even get a menial job to prove I am a capable human being. I suffer from severe anxiety and am stuck in a deep depression as a result of having no one to talk to and no future to look forward to as well as my anxiety preventing me from moving forward. I feel I am a good person who just happens to have horrible luck and is invisible to everyone around me. It's like I'm not even in control of my own life. I'm smart, honest, hard working but nobody wants me, not as a friend or even as an employee. Even McDonald's doesn't want to hire me. Important people to me constantly just disappear out of my life. I just want something in my life that makes living feel worthwhile. I don't have money to see a therapist right now and all I know is that if I am dead at least I won't have to think about how alone and empty my existence is.
teacupful teacupful
Sep 25, 2012