In The Name Of Friendship.

This probably going to look and sound stupid to the large majority seeing how most stories here are about their broken families.

I don't even know how to put down in words how I truly feel.

We've been classmate for near 2 years, a couple of months back I developed feelings for her. From there on, it all went downhill.. actually before that it was already downhill.. 

We used to be very close to each other as we were working together for a period of time, I left service there and went on to another job and distance grew unknowingly. I tried to make it up by spending more time and effort in this friendship but I soon realise that was not all that I am looking for.

I know very well her intentions of not getting into a relationship or even falling in love for the time being. And I haven't been putting much expectations into getting anything back.

But right now, she's treating me like a stranger and I can tell them there is some degree of annoyance that she feels from me. It feels as though that my existence will only make her uncomfortable. Sometimes I don't even know why I am trying and what I am fighting for.. friendship.. or more? or in the name of friendship..? I probably should get over this issue first before I think about anything else.

Do you know what it feels like to see someone where you can call her best friend a long time ago avoiding and trying to cut off ties with you. And she never ever smile to you. It's so obvious.. that I'm being treated so differently and harshly. I may have done some things or perhaps everything wrong the past few months. But do I deserve a chance to speak or try to reset everything..?

What's worse I haven't even made it clear to you that I like you.. and we are already like this. What will happen in the near future. Will there be any room for friends in the future? She's a girl.. I don't wish to miss this time.

It's killing me, so silently.
Iynix Iynix
18-21
Dec 12, 2012