No More

I cant handle the pain anymore. I should be happy I've came such a long way from abuse,addiction,self harm......I start college on Tuesday , i worked so hard to get to where i am today.But its not enough , Im still unhappy. Hating myself and my life. I don't think i will every truly be happy.But i don't know how much longer i can suffer.I've tried to be strong.Nothing helps.Yes im young beautiful and smart but i hate myself...on the inside when i look in the mirror i don't know who it is thats looking back at me.The loneliness is what hurts the most..no one not one person knows how much pain and hate and anger i carry around everyday.I just want to be free from it all ...Forever ..I believe in God i prey and ask God to please take away all this pain....Idk what else i can do ..Drugs only last so long..I was a meth addict ..I've been clean for a year. But i still get th urge to use its the only drug sstrong enough to take the pain away.Everything is temporary though.Dying is the only thing that lasts and wll take my pain away forever...Theres no turning back...I wonder if anyone will miss me
Lexilovely Lexilovely
18-21, F
4 Responses Jan 20, 2013

Someone will always miss you, I don't even know you but with all you have already said I would miss you. if you ever need to vent, message anytime. Please take care of yourself.

Just keep praying to God about it, and see where He leads you ...I'm so sorry you hurt so much...coming to a point of not wanting to live just proves how painful life is...

One day at time. Why do you hate yourself? you can't change the past it defines who you were. We all have our own demons, our own fights. Your not alone in that regard. You to find what works to channel all that anger and hate you carry around. Workout, Run. Express yourself in writing about it. Your life is just starting so you can decide who you want to be. Don't be your own worst enemy. Start by being your friend. You can't change the pass. Maybe you need to be in group session surrounded by people just like you who struggle everyday, who understand. The answer lies within you and just keep trying. Death is not the answer. Only you can make your life better and you can do it.

Everyone will miss you